To Be OR Not To Be

As the years are passing by, the world is progressing, some people are growing happy, some more sad, some are growing richer..some poorer, some parts of the world getting peaceful, some more violent, few youth is getting ambitious..some more aimless. Amidst all these I find my country India and the countrymen earning gains in economy, education,health and so many different fields but I look at it with a different angle and as I travel more around the world I get to know my Bharat more and more. I could read what India was, I could see what India is and I wonder what India would be, and then this thought comes to my mind- "To be or not to be"!

Why do we celebrate Diwali? What is the meaning of Rakshabandhan? Why is Cow a holy animal for us? Why do we start everything with name of Lord Ganesha? Why many Indians are vegetarian? Why women put bindi over their head? Why do you have so many languages?....And a lot of other questions that people ask us when we are abroad making me realize how less I know my country, how less I know of my culture, how less I know of Indian traditions, how less I know about our mother.
You must have got an Idea why I have titled this blog "To be or not to be"!

I wonder why are we moving so far from ourselves? The new face of India (we, the youth) is changing the country both in a positive and a negative way. I do agree that we must move on with time, but I don't understand why we need to loose or ignore the aspects that make us unique in this world!

"The principal official language of the Republic of India is Standard Hindi, while English is the secondary official language." says our government. Do we really respect this? I have caught people so many times explaining me stuff in English which they could not convey in Hindi and I guess everyone has noticed this. Haven't you faced a situation when you wonder whats the Hindi of some XYZ word? Don't you think it would have been a better case the other way around. I could find no reason for speaking English to be stamped as something called "modern and growing". Though it is necessary but must not be our priority. Go to any other part of the world and you would find this kind of situation no where. I feel really shameful when our politicians deliver their speech in English inside Lok Sabha, people looking around for Hindi words, some getting rejected in an interview only because he could not convey his knowledge well in English. Anywhere in India you go you would find waiters, shopkeepers everyone speaking in English. Once I asked a girl serving me Pizza at Pizza Hut.."Why do you speak in English, are you ashamed of talking to me in English?", she said "Sir, we are trained to speak in English to give a rich and attractive look to the young generation"..aahhh so very dumb.

I know India has so many spoken languages in different parts of it, but why are me making English a common language to converse? Wouldn't it be better if a Bengali and a Telugu guy conversing in Hindi than English? Why to make English as a common media within our own country itself? We tend to learn new English words but if we try to use some Pure Hindi words at public display..we are tagged "Gawar"! Yes it happens and you CANNOT deny that. Speaking English is NOT at all bad, but what about our treatment to our official language?

The WAR OF STATES is the second thing that surprises me. The moment you say you are from Bihar, Kerela, Tamil Nadu or Uttar Pradesh you loose your impression. Why the hell? I am least bothered about the history of our states, I just wonder the youth fighting war of states, what is there to be proud of belonging to a State of India? Do you own that state? Do you rule that state? Are you the reason for the good/bad economic or social conditions of the state? What makes you proud of belonging to Punjab or Maharashtra or Gujrat? Let me ask "Who are you?"...You are just another resident of that state by the virtue of your family's history for which you have not at all contributed, so please stop taking credit or feeling proud of a history you have not created. Its not a talk about a guy from Uttar Pradesh or a guy from South India, its just about that human being, he may be good or bad, rich or poor, intelligent or dump, caring or cunning but that does not represent his home state, its just him or the people around him (his family background) that defines that person.
 "arrey tumhare state me to aisa hote hai..waisa hota hai, arrey ye mallu sale bahut harami hote hain, ye bihar wale sare k sare gawar hain, ye benagli sab bahut chalak aur kanjus hote hain, Delhi ki ladkiya characterless hoti hain, UP wale to sab bhaiya hote hain"...damn you people, come out of the box, if they are bad..teach them to be good, do something for such people instead of sitting and talking about them, alright. You know what.. this is a darker side of India, if you cannot spread wellness, better mind your own business.

People say "We went to so and so country and had a wonderful intercultural experience", I say just move around India and one would never find a better collection of cultures else where in the world, but do we really enjoy and value this intercultural gift our country has given us? Not much.

Just imagine of a India, where people from other countries are coming, wearing dhoti and saying "that's a modern outfit", a country whose official language becomes Britain's second official language, a country where people work to improve the condition of people of other states, a country where people feel proud to speak Hindi, a country where people say "I am Indian"! All of you of coarse say so but I mean to say an India where people feel "I am an Indian".

When I look at my friends, I get to learn alot, the way they dress, the way they speak, the way they behave at public places, the way they inspire me to think good. But I love being DESI at the end of the day.
People feel so great eating at KFC or Pizza Hut, wearing good foreign brands and all. I look forward to an India which has Indian food chains in the world, people buying Indian brands, listening to Indian bands, watching Indian TV series. We might already have these things but not as much as we are influenced by the Western Countries for these things. We must grow up as India, not a Westernized India that's all I want to say. We do not value what we are, at least not everyone. When I say "We", its the youth including me.

No doubt we are growing bigger and better as a nation, whole world knows that well. But there are a few things I am concerned being a youth, the so called future face of India. I am glad to have friends who think of India and I am also glad to have friends who show me the darker side of youth. We should think universal and above all for our country.

For the very few people who bother to do something for people living in slums, educating illiterates without shouting at the government for not doing anything, spreading Indian art, being from Maharashtra and helping people from Bihar to grow, pushing our traditions to the world, wanting to join politics to do something good for India... Hats off!!!

Please don't try to be someone else, inspire others to be like you. Value yourself, Value India.

Love you all.
Take care readers!

Damn why don't you Understand

I don't know why I am writing down this post, just that I wanted to write one so I am here. It has been a pretty confused time running as of now, I have landed at Michigan, USA for pursuing my Masters. The place is good, people are awesome, but I need to adjust a lot because my under-graduation was way different, may it be the system, my friends or the life. Well without really expressing much..this is all I want to say :

I am not What I am, 
Yeah, what you think is not me, 
Its not me whom you force, 
Don't squeeze my brain, it pains,
Damn why don't you Understand !! 


A path I chose and I am on my way,
The road is smooth, don't push me hey,
Its a long way I have carried my goal,
I don't want to slip,
Damn why don't you Understand !! 


I know I know I should learn,
The way you do is just awesome,
A change is good but I fear,
What you teach is not I want,
Damn why don't you Understand !!


I am not stressed but look at me,
Same nightmare every night I see,
They die they die...yes my family,
Fuck it please I need some peace,
Damn why don't you Understand !!


I have no work, I am so free,
Once they called me a busy bee,
I will party, I will enjoy,
But now I need some work,
Damn why don't you Understand !!


I am so confused for the decision I took,
I want to jump and have a look,
Don't hold me down, don't pull me back,
I want to see whats there ahead,
Damn why don't you Understand !!


Patience and time are running apart,
If I hold them it shakes my heart,
Its a fight I have to win,
Its going to be good at the end of the day,
Damn someone make me Understand !! 

After reading it I know many of you might interpret that I am not happy, but its not the case at all, I am JUST SO VERY CONFUSED these days with a lot of factors influencing them...but as I said "Its a fight I have to win, Its going to be good at the end of the day,"

 Take care readers.
 Love you all !!

My Mumbai Girl - A Story Untold

Around two years down the line I had many questions in my mind regarding chatting, especially the chat rooms which people say are meant for making new friends. Crap. Everyone knows (talking of teenagers here) that it is used for dating and furthermore for mating. THE END.
Now when it comes to chatting with friends too...it was a difficult task for me. I could not sit and chat uselessly.
I have many friends who use these chat rooms to make GFs or have some sexy chats. I never had time for these stuffs. :P

But last summer while I was doing my internship at Turkey, I got much free time and even I used to stay in my office after my scheduled time too. One day just I was blank with what to do and I entered a yahoo chat room. Obviously with no intentions of talking to guys I was pinging only the ones who’s ID indicated that they would be female. For 4-5 days I tried regularly but I could not get a girl to talk to. I wondered how my friends get girls over these chat rooms, some of them even succeeded getting the girls naked on cam (which was their sole aim) :P. The key factor was the way we sell ourselves to girls in chat rooms. I cannot be that cheesy in my talks. Everything goes too straight forward for me. I gave up. But again some days later I gave a try and it was last week of June then, that day just in my 2nd or 3rd hit I got a reply. The girl was from Mumbai. She asked my age..I told 21, she stopped talking to me saying “I am too old for you”. She was in 30’s. But how does age makes a difference to chat with someone, I asked her. To me things were as simple as that. Well I just asked about her, she replied now. She was a doctor at Mumbai. Had a love marriage, husband mostly out of India for official works, has a daughter studying in 12th or 11th (forgot). I told her about me.
Days passed and not every day but whenever I came on Yahoo we pinged each other, she used to tell me about her love life and all, ask about my plans, what I was doing at Turkey and stuff. I enjoyed talking to her. She had a sense of maturity in her words which attracted me (I love talking to sincere n matured people). A week prior to my departure from Turkey I asked her to meet me at Mumbai (my flight was landing at mumbai). She was even ready to pick me up from airport. We made plans of going to beaches n hanging out. She gave me her number. I was excited to meet her. Such kind of chat friend n all I never liked, but my case was different I guess.

So 30th July 2010 it was. I landed, I lied to some of my school and college friends that my flight would be landing at evening so I would meet them at 30th night :P, just because I was feeling awkward telling them about my new Senior Citizen friend ;)

Well so I met her..... She came to pick me up by her car near to my hotel. A gentle, matured, smiling face woman. She took me to KFC at Andheri, she kept on asking about my future plans and my college activities. I remember she said “Shanky you are more mature than kids of your age should be”. She really made me very very comfortable. I did not feel the age difference at all, she knew it very well how to manage. She was listening to me as a college friend, simplicity on her face. Before meeting her I was thinking "Am I doing anything wrong meeting a chat friend?"..because if I place any of my friends at my place and rethink..I would consider it a stupidity to meet such a person, especially if my friend was a girl. But I had an idea of which type of a girl/woman I am going to meet and more over I or we dint have any physical intention behind meeting (hopefully ;)). And just in some time after meeting her, I was proud of my decision and once again my intuitions were correct. I almost asked her nothing, I was noticing her and she was superb.
She loves reading novels, we then went to Cross Word but did not buy anything. Now we kept on roaming and she took me to Lifestyle, she asked me to choose some shirts, I chose two and she gifted them to me. I asked her not to but she said “Shanky take it and I would tell you why am I gifting it to you”. I accepted.

It was time to leave. She said “Shanky you know, I did love marriage and after that I am bit cut-off from my family, I always wished to gift someone and make him/her happy but never got a chance, I am really happy to gift you something today.” She was almost sentimental by this time. Listening to it even I was happy to make her happy. Just a moment later we bid good bye to each other leaving an everlasting impression and few sweet memories in our hearts.

Its almost an year now but we regularly send SMS to each other, care for each other. What I noticed in her is the way she understands me being a teenager, she knows the way I think, she predicts my mood very well, she gives me advices, she showers love and warmth, she has an amazing understanding. Once out of excitement she offered me to be her Son-in-Law (hehee). I feel blessed to have such a person in my life. She is a perfect wife, perfect mother, a sincere doctor, a caring friend, got everything to be a perfect girlfriend. With her I live a different life and perhaps she knows a different "Shankaransh" which is hidden from this world, she knows the actual "ME". I really wish I could meet her at least once in a month. She soothes my mind like anything. And by the way friends her name is Dr. Smriti.

Thank you God...Thank you Smriti (yeah I call her by her name).

Radhey Radhey Nights to Marijuana Wings-flying abyss!!

Before I start this phase of writing I would like to say one thing to my friends- Doing only good things doesn’t make your life good or you a good person.
Everyone says that final year is just to chill and enjoy. Last 3 years of my college life I had utilized learning by doing. I was done with GRE,TOEFL, applications, Job (a forced attempts by my parents and friends). I wanted to enjoy joblessly now.

29th January,2011, I called up all my friends to my room for my JSPL treat. There were some 25 smokers that day. Some 5-6 times before the party started Upa asked me “Shanky how many people are coming?” That day we started at 10pm with 25 people in a single seater room..partying hard. After a while when everyone was HIGH...Manas and Hardik played a song on my lappy. The song was new to almost all of us. People were smoking...song was playing...some people left...but song was playing..Naman made GRAVITY..still the song was playing. Some 15 minutes later I realized that my room is under Red lights..Laptop at the centre and everyone around it clapping in a very holy way.

The song was “Radhey Radhey”..it was a 44 minutes track, people were so involved in that song that they forget where they actually were and their(including mine) imaginations took them to god’s place. All thanks to Manas and Hardik who played this almighty song and made Room-322 Hall-4 a Holy Place.

We all were in our own depths....people kept departing and at last just 3 of us left- Me, Niru and Upa. The depth of talks we had that day won’t come ever again. That session of 29th and 30th Jan we named as GGP!!
Days passed partying harder and came 8th Feb when I got my Admit info from Michigan Tech. The AIM of my college life was done. I was totally relaxed. Day by day the direction of my thinking was changing...I was moving away from the materialistic things and I was enjoying it. To some people I was being unsocial and addicted.
I was never addicted I knew..I was confident on that. I don’t know when but there came a time when I started partying with Swarup Sutar and gradually there were only me and him smoking at his room.

Our thinking level matched nearly perfectly. We had previously worked together in “Boond”. One day we decided to make some songs with our present state of thinking....our thoughts took more depth every next day...we ended up writing some 7-8 songs and composed 2 of them finally. To these compositions we gave the name- “Marijuana Wings-flying abyss”. Now we are on our way to make it professional and open a company “Dream Processors Productions Pvt Ltd”...soon you will find us live in action!!

I spent some very memorable and learning moments with Nirupam, Khera, Upa, Bala, Kussy, Swarup, Bappa Da, Andij, Animesh, Eshan, Rudro, Debayan, Souptik, Sudipto, Rajan, Adhiep and loads fun moments with everyone I smoked with ;)

I met so many new faces partying this way, got to know how much people love me, confronted with different perspectives of different people, made a lot of friends- are all these things wrong? Now the thing is I did not waste my time doing nothing, smoking weed I could attain a different state of mind which I used constructively to drive my passion of making songs. People question- “Why do you smoke weed?” The answer is- “I want to do bad things in a constructive manner” and inspire people. I want to be Jack of All Trades, I want to be little bad to know the importance of good things. I have got so many lifetime memories with my friends partying with.

My fundamental says- First be the person you want to become then enjoy your life trying stuffs you should not. Well i think there shouldn’t be anything left in life to do for which you regret later. I have my own style of enjoying life and I AM PROUD OF IT because at this time I can prove my worth in the market. You do any damn thing but if your intensions and aim are defined then nothing is wrong. This was all about my happy and cheerful journey from “Radhey Radhey Nights to Marijuana Wings-flying abyss”.

I want to say sorry to some of my friends who were always so worried about this part of my life- Watti, Deepak, Priyanka, Deboleena, Madhyama, Supriya, Shreeja, Anchal. I would just say..love me for what I have done to make you all proud but don’t hate me for the things I have done which have hurt you. For me nothing was wrong...I LOVE MY LIFE and MY FRIENDS ARE MY LIFE. God Bless!!

SomeTHING AIMLESS

Well this blog post is something I always wanted to post...but dint..or couldn't or shouldn't...I don't know what.. :O

But here I am with some of my very personal public perceptions- I have been always bad at maintaining individuality..that I confess. I have always tried to see and judge people with my own angle. I remember when I was in class 10th, one night I was sitting and counting the number of "close" friends I had at that time and I stopped doing so when the count was approaching 100. Sometime near to that my dad said "Son your mark-sheets are degrading rapidly, please shorten your friend circle" and I ended with a quality 6 friends- Bhaskar, Avnish, Ashwini, Gaurav, Kumar Karan and Ankur. From then I was totally inspired by those six to lead a life out of league (though being in the crowd- yeah that's important) and constantly I am "trying" to stand up to their inspiration.

The last 7 years have confronted me with some people who are neither out of league nor among the crowd. This blog is about those few people. My attitude is..if you can answer "What is the aim of your life?" then you are worth a human, a human who can be my friend else I hardly bother. By AIM I don't mean what is the sole thing you want to do or become; I mean whats next you want to achieve or rigidly try for. There are people who are not so very clear with their "aim" but have some "purpose of life"- yeah and that is also cool.

I have some college and school friends who do not have any AIM..not even a Purpose of life. I can't understand how such people enjoy LIFE- a life without hurdles, a life where you have no reason to be happy for winning and no reason to be sad for loosing, a life which has no reason for what you are doing and no reason for what you are not doing, a life in which you do not commit any mistake, a life which has nothing to give to others..not even to your parents, a life from which you cannot learn anything, a life without a plan, a life which has no LIFE. Such people rise up, eat, roam, chat, gossip, sleep and the cycle continues. I really want to know what goes on in such people's mind...and I tell you whenever I think about it I get highly irritated.

Some examples I want to state-
* Kumar Karan (my school mate) used to make the worst guy in the class his best friend and now he is an IITian.
* Shushant Patta (a college friend) got year back but he is best at practical stuffs and in many technical fests he has proved himself against the so called toppers of the institute.
* Debayan Ganguly (another college mate) has got 10 or 11 supplies/backs still made it to TATA MOTORS as I.C. Engines was his only "academic" love.

Hats of to such fellows who have given a tight slap on those faces who have always criticized them for their failure but could never realize what are such people's AIM or simply the Purpose of LIFE.

Guys get up- have some AIM..have some purpose of life. Try to enjoy life with some reason. Try to achieve something in life....even loosing something in life would make a sense. If not for others..not even your parents..try to do it for yourself...be Selfish..even that would be worth. Don't let LIFE go, don't let people call you "SomeTHING AIMLESS".....