An Indian Wedding to learn from

Unity in diversity, the cultural diversity is the backbone of my country- India. We practice different religions and we try to respect the religious beliefs of each other. After I moved to the United States, I learned how famous Indian weddings are outside of India and as a matter of fact Indian weddings are one of the most fancy weddings I have known so far. Indian weddings are not just about the celebration of the beginning of two individuals getting married but it is about celebrating the new relationship between the two families.

I am not too happy to mention that even after 68 years of our independence, religion and caste still play a vital role in Indian weddings. Although more and more people are growing up to having a neutral and educated perspective of the diversity in religion and caste, inter-religion and even inter-caste marriages are still not very easily accepted in our society. As I always tend to share my personal experiences in life, today I would like to share an amazing experience I have had with the wedding of the two very dear friends of mine- Avi and Neha.

Avi and Neha have been dating each other since high school and finally in their mid 20s, they decided to marry each other. Avi and Neha practice different religions and as I said, inter-religion marriage is not yet very common in India and hence starts the fun. For them, finally it was the time to formally ask their parents to give a green light for their wedding. Avi and Neha both have a very rational thinking and both of them belong to well educated families. They knew that the social approval process would not be as smooth as silk but they had confidence in their parents. Most of the Indian parents are very deeply influenced by the Indian society and even after being educated, most parents are not able to break the mental barrier of inter-religion marriage especially when it's about their own kid. Rational thinking and wedding does not go along very well in India.

Now here comes the difference between being literate and being educated. Since I know Avi's parents much closely than Neha's, let me talk about them. They treated this case beyond the boundaries of religion, for Avi's parents Neha was a girl their son truly loved. For his parents it was as simple as trusting their son's decision and in fact Avi's dad offered to approach Neha's parents to talk about their wedding. All his dad cared about was the happiness of his son and not the social tantrums of an inter-religion wedding. This is such a good example to spread and to learn from. The little that I know, both families did face some social hurdles within their own families and sme of their relatives just refused to attend this wedding but the best part was that both Avi and Neha's parents had already anticipated such disapproval within their families and they chose to ignore it because they were determined not to influence their decision based on irrational thinking of the society.

Avi's dad is one gem of a person. Avi did not want his wedding to be held in a very traditional way with a priest chanting some religious mantras on the day of their wedding so Avi's dad prepared a wedding script which he recited both in Bengali and in English and it was completely non-religious. Neha's family appreciated the move and they also decided to conduct the wedding in a very non-traditional and non-religious manner. Avi and Neha had their first wedding ceremony in the US in a Christian style (none of them are Christian by religion), then in India they got married in their respective religious traditions in a non-religious fashion. It was just so cool to see my friends getting married 3 times in 3 different styles in a society that does not explicitly approve of such acts of pure love beyond religion. I wish I could share this story with every Indian parent so that they can learn how important it is to trust their kids and think beyond the social boundaries.

Recently people in India were talking about my country being intolerant but the truth of the matter is that the individuals need to be tolerant for the nation to be tolerant and individuals like Avi and Neha's parents are contributing to make our country tolerant and practical. We need to understand that caste and religion are man made things. Why judge someone by things that aren't under their control? Bottom line is that god created us simply as human beings and human beings framed us in to different religions, so why not judge each other based on humanity? Humanity is natural, it is the fundamental characteristic of human race.

Examples of weddings like this are actually helping our society to change their mindset and behave as educated people. I have never been so amazed and impressed by someone's wedding as I am with Avi-Neha's. Thank you Avi and Neha, I am proud to know you guys and be your friend. Thank you to your parents for teaching us a much needed lesson !!

Happiness OR Satisfaction

I am about to turn 26 in a few hours and I just wanted to share something that I have realized in my recent past. I am an observer and a thinker. When I look at our society, especially my generation, I try to analyze what is going around, I try to learn and adapt the best practices to make myself a better human being. I wish to continue doing this forever and ever.

I want to share my thoughts on happiness and satisfaction, how do I define them and what is the difference between happiness and satisfaction according to me and where are we going wrong with it.

Lets look at few examples- You buy a new cell phone. Are you happy? Definitely yes! Are you satisfied? May or may not be...right?

You go on a vacation. Are you happy? I guess you should be. Are you satisfied? Again may or may not be.

You secure a good paying job. Are you happy? Well money shouldn't let you down, but are you satisfied? Big question, right?

How long would such a happiness going to stay with you? A day? A week? A month would be over exaggerated. 

I have one thing to say- Satisfaction guarantees happiness but happiness cannot guarantee satisfaction! Bottom line.

So what should you look for? Happiness OR Satisfaction? 

I see that many of us are happy with our life. But ask yourself...Am I satisfied? Take one moment before you read further and ask yourself- What is that one thing that I have done that makes me feel satisfied? So do you have an answer?

Satisfaction comes with achievement and achievement should come with milestones that you set forth for yourself. Again take a moment and ask yourself- What is my next milestone in life? Do you have an answer? If not then you are not doing it right my friend.

Lets see what is satisfaction.

You buy a new cell phone, but this is not just another cell phone. You craved for it, you set your monthly budget to save for it, you decided that no matter what but next year I want to award myself with this cell phone and now here it is. Satisfied, right?

You go on a vacation. But this is not just another vacation. You planned for it years back, you set your milestone that I will work hard to earn myself a self sponsored tour to Europe or Goa. Satisfied, right?

You get a new job. But this is not just another job, this is what you wanted to do or this is the company you wanted to work for. You set a target for yourself and you achieved it. How did you feel? or How would you feel? Just happy or satisfied & happy?

I see quite a lot of people in the age group 22-30 who live very similar life. Bachelors degree, say yeyyy! Masters degree, say yoooo! A fine paying job and there you go, life is set. Is that you? Yes you?

We have so much misinterpreted the words fun and happiness. Each one of us have our own definitions of happiness and I support that because at the end of the day each one of us should live a happy life. We all deserve it. But I strongly feel that happiness coming in package with satisfaction is the right way to do it.

How many of you crib about your job? How many of you just see one positive factor with your job and that's the money coming in. I would assume at least a few of you if not many. Well we spend 8 long hours of our day at office...shouldn't we love what we do and make our work place a little better for ourselves? Don't you think if you really take interest in completing a project at work then your pay check will give you much more happiness and satisfaction? It just annoys me when people are not happy at work, they don't love what they do, they are just not satisfied. If so, move your asses and do something that you would like. Are you afraid that you would not get the job you like? Do you think you deserve it? Do you think you have the talent to get your dream job? Go get it rather than wasting your time. But be satisfied my friend. That's the key! 

Happiness that comes from partying on weekends, shopping, going out with friends and family etc are important but are very short lived. When you achieve something and you feel satisfied, that feeling of happiness will stay with you for life. Isn't that something that excites you?

For those handful of people who have set milestones but are afraid to try because they are skeptical of their success...my friend even failure could be satisfactory because you tried, because you gave your best. There is no way you could feel the magic unless you step into those shoes.

Go discover yourself, go find something to do which will make you satisfied rather than doing something that gives you a temporary happiness which you might not even remember the next day or next week.

This post is dedicated to our CONFUSED GENERATION. Please take it as a positive criticism. I may not be the best but I am definitely not YOU my friend.

Thanks for reading.

Love ya all !!

My One Year Vacation in OC

Yes last one year has been completely adventurous for me at this new location: Ocean City (OC), Maryland. For I believe that being on vacation for a complete year, would not be possible again before (and if) I retire and it would not be, for sure, as adventurous as this has been. July 2013, I completed my graduation and in August 2013 I moved from Michigan to Maryland for work. The little that I knew about this place before I reached OC, I was surprised, this place was actually an island, you could find a hotel easier than a place to rent and live, there were more bars and restaurants than Offices, entire OC was full of visitors, crowded roads and beaches; man a total paradise.

The heading of this post "My One Year Vacation in OC" could be a little misleading and should not be misunderstood by lying on beaches, drinking and enjoying with friends. Yes it was definitely a part of it but not all of it. I call it a vacation because I guess "time" sent me here to learn and move on while having an amazing fun experience in life. If you are going through tough times (personally or professionally) or have gone through at some point in time then you would most likely be able to connect to my story and for others it could just be an alert for the times to come (there are other people for whom life just could be "EASY & FUN", my post or any of my posts are not for them).

I could not have ever been at any better place to realize my own strengths and my weaknesses than OC. I started working with a start-up company in OC. Little that I knew about this company (which is funny), I was their first full-time employee whom they planned on supporting and keeping to the best of their capabilities. Well this situation was very weird but exciting at the same time. It took me no time to think about the growth of the company as a whole rather than just focusing on my job tasks and my performance. I felt like I was an integral part of the company while my friends and family have been constantly suggesting me to look for better opportunities but I thought may be this is the best opportunity, to work with a start-up and learn not just engineering but how a business is run. It has been almost an year working in OC and now I stand stranded in a position where the roads ahead seem more and more difficult with each passing day. Need a new job badly now. Sometimes I feel like I took a wrong decision and may be I was way too optimistic with what I can get out of my current job but when I look back at the entire scenario, I observe few good things and a series of hardships that have helped me into growing as a better person, increased the level of my patience and gave me an opportunity to understand how a business is run especially the don'ts of a business.

Before I started working, everything in my life was so much planned ahead of time and by god's grace everything happened as per the plan but recently I have learned that these uncertainties in life and the risks of life is what makes it more exciting to live if you look at it the right way. Things never happen for bad if you try to extract the lessons that you can learn from your hardships. In my case this phase has made me realize that if I have it in me, I will get a good opportunity, may not be soon enough but definitely. Another big thing that I recently learned through my friends (Nirupam, Sayantani, Upamanyu and Balaji) that time is not going to stop; there is no point worrying about the things that you can put your sincere efforts into (applying to jobs in my case) and achieve it. And this is exactly what I have been doing for a month. I do not have an offer in hand but currently I am being interviewed by some of the top solar companies in the US (which obviously was a result of my efforts, still continuing) and 3-4 hours in a day I spend either chilling with my friends or by contributing my time towards my passion in poetry, political speeches, social work and learning how to establish a solid business.

If I was not positive about the difficult situation I am in (and tonne of thanks to my buddies for that), probably I would be wasting my time and energy worrying about it, which actually most of us do (I have done that several times in the past). As a person it made me strong enough to control my mind to not think about negative stuff that could happen if I do not get another job in time. And friends, one really needs to put in a lot of efforts to do that. I have failed many times and few negative thoughts have managed to sail through but if you fight it every single time then your mind will be in good shape soon. Happiness is a mind game after all. Key is- Do not blame the situation/people, have confidence in yourself and keep moving. Keep moving with patience!! Trust me even if you have talent and confidence but not patience then its simply not going to work. Tell yourself that "Whatever the outcome may be, all I know is I have to give my best and I am giving my best". If things doesn't work (it didn't work for me for like a month), then change your approach (I learned using LinkedIn for my job search and all my interviews have been a result of that) but keep trying baby coz its coming...ohh yeah its coming baebehh !!

I am sure all of you would have read these so called inspiring philosophical lines somewhere and so have I, but my reason of blogging it is just to let you know that it works. And yes, when it works you feel absolutely amazing about yourself because by then you know that if ever again you are into a deep shit situation, you would be able to sail through it. No one else can be a better guide than you yourself. Feeling bad/discouraged at times is very much human but its illegal to have those feelings effect your output. Mind it !!

Life is awesome because I am awesome at choosing my F.R.I.E.N.D.S. And yes, there have been some least expected people whom I did not even consider close but they helped me keep my spirits high all this time. God bless such good people. Time to say good bye to OC and these awesome fun loving people. Alas!

Please do share if you have any such experience(s). I would appreciate it. Keep reading, love you all !!