SomeTHING AIMLESS

Well this blog post is something I always wanted to post...but dint..or couldn't or shouldn't...I don't know what.. :O

But here I am with some of my very personal public perceptions- I have been always bad at maintaining individuality..that I confess. I have always tried to see and judge people with my own angle. I remember when I was in class 10th, one night I was sitting and counting the number of "close" friends I had at that time and I stopped doing so when the count was approaching 100. Sometime near to that my dad said "Son your mark-sheets are degrading rapidly, please shorten your friend circle" and I ended with a quality 6 friends- Bhaskar, Avnish, Ashwini, Gaurav, Kumar Karan and Ankur. From then I was totally inspired by those six to lead a life out of league (though being in the crowd- yeah that's important) and constantly I am "trying" to stand up to their inspiration.

The last 7 years have confronted me with some people who are neither out of league nor among the crowd. This blog is about those few people. My attitude is..if you can answer "What is the aim of your life?" then you are worth a human, a human who can be my friend else I hardly bother. By AIM I don't mean what is the sole thing you want to do or become; I mean whats next you want to achieve or rigidly try for. There are people who are not so very clear with their "aim" but have some "purpose of life"- yeah and that is also cool.

I have some college and school friends who do not have any AIM..not even a Purpose of life. I can't understand how such people enjoy LIFE- a life without hurdles, a life where you have no reason to be happy for winning and no reason to be sad for loosing, a life which has no reason for what you are doing and no reason for what you are not doing, a life in which you do not commit any mistake, a life which has nothing to give to others..not even to your parents, a life from which you cannot learn anything, a life without a plan, a life which has no LIFE. Such people rise up, eat, roam, chat, gossip, sleep and the cycle continues. I really want to know what goes on in such people's mind...and I tell you whenever I think about it I get highly irritated.

Some examples I want to state-
* Kumar Karan (my school mate) used to make the worst guy in the class his best friend and now he is an IITian.
* Shushant Patta (a college friend) got year back but he is best at practical stuffs and in many technical fests he has proved himself against the so called toppers of the institute.
* Debayan Ganguly (another college mate) has got 10 or 11 supplies/backs still made it to TATA MOTORS as I.C. Engines was his only "academic" love.

Hats of to such fellows who have given a tight slap on those faces who have always criticized them for their failure but could never realize what are such people's AIM or simply the Purpose of LIFE.

Guys get up- have some AIM..have some purpose of life. Try to enjoy life with some reason. Try to achieve something in life....even loosing something in life would make a sense. If not for others..not even your parents..try to do it for yourself...be Selfish..even that would be worth. Don't let LIFE go, don't let people call you "SomeTHING AIMLESS".....

Expectations!!

For the 1st time I was walking,
My hand into my dad’s,
He left and I fell,
He expected me to stand myself…
Expectations from an infant!!

Mathematics wasn’t my cup of tea,
I could hardly score a 60 of 100,
They scolded, they slapped me several times,
They expected a 90 of 100
Expectations from a school boy!!

I was 16, I felt infatuation,
I walked around her all time,
She complained to the Principal,
I still expected her to talk to me once,
Expectations of an immature lover!!

I was 18, to be college going,
I worked hard, I was good,
I could not make it to the end,
I expected to join IIT,
Expectations of a teenager!!

I thought I was mature,
Took a chance and again gave my time to her,
Now she enjoyed my company, but I was confused,
I expected her to make me happy too,
Expectations of a young adult!!

I was fond of extra co-curricular activities,
I was enjoying them at college
But it was a time waste to my dad,
He expected me to just score well,
Expectations from a college boy!!

Now I want to study more,
I want to do more, something out of league,
I hate to be simply an engineer,
But mom expects me to do a job
Expectations from a son!!

People around induced in me a thing
They induced something that suffocates me
They have induced in me the repellent of happiness
They have induced in me Expectation
Expectations of ME with MYSELF!!

From school to college- Expectations,
From friends to family- Expectations,
From enemy to a Lover- Expectations,
From academics to my passion- Expectations,
In fact my birth was an expectation, they wanted a Boy!!

The Sem that WAS

Turkey to Dubai to India- that’s how my journey for the last year of my college life began. On 4^th Aug 2010, nearly 20 days after reopening of my college, I joined my friends at college. I arrived my hostel at 2 am… Nirupam and Rishikesh were there to escort me. Aaah..that was what I was waiting for- my friends. New hostel, new room, the same 3 year old friends, our rounds of laughter and Turkish Cigara made my first night of my last year in college. That very morning Nirupam woke me up saying “bhai Tata Motors aayi hai placement k liye, lets go and give the written exam”, I was so very uninterested but my friends pulled my for it. I cleared the written test, I don’t know how. I was very sure of clearing the GD round, I called my dad and told him the situation, to my surprise he dint want TATA rather a PSU and asked me to drop out. I sat for GD, dint say a word but at the end I was asked by the panel to summarize the GD and again to my surprise I was selected saying those few lines for the final interview. All others were so happy; on the other hand I was damn scared of being selected. I gave my interview, after sometime Adhiep (our TPR) came to me and said “Bhai your name is in the selected candidates list probably”. It was all my parent’s wish to drop and I had to do it, I knew I was losing a big deal but cudnt help it. I went inside the Panel’s chamber and requested to knock me out of the list, finally relieved. AND THE BAD LUCK STARTS……

September was scheduled for my GRE exam, BAD LUCK knocked and I met an incident cum accident cum fight cum ditches cum back stabbing on September 2^nd. I shifted my exam date to 1^st October but just spoiled it all. I was still not in favor of doing a job and wanted to study further but hardly any hopes left. I attended many parties for my friends being placed, boozing kinda became a habit. But unlike some idiots I never felt jealous for my friends being placed and me standing short unplaced. Placements are always a matter of proud for a institute and my friends made NIT Dgp proud. Almost all the branches are done with 85% placements. I am happy, not for me but for my friends and my college.

This semester nothing was going right. Neither acads, nor extra- curricular works nor internal and external affairs nor public and private relations. I was totally stuck in NOTHING this semester. Every time my basic rule flashed ifo my eyes “Whatever happens, happens for something good”….I was finding something good, one positive aspect in this negative arena…yeah I was finding but I did not know someone is keeping a watch on me- BAD LUCK: I got caught using mobile phone during my 7^th semester exams and I am given a supplementary in that paper with my mobile phone (actually my friend’s mobile) still hanging with the academic section. I am frustrated….nothing is smooth except Boozing and Weed :P

It seems everything I earned in past 3 years at NITD is running away from me- the zest, the life, the relations, the pride and that little name and fame.

But I thought- Guru itna sochne ki kya zarurat hai…Jo hona hai wo hoga isliye jo ho rha hai usko hone do, log jaa rhe hain unko jane do kyuki jane wale ko koi ni rok sakta, jo tumpe hans rha hai unhe hansne do kyuki ye unki sehat k liye achha hai, log dhoka de rhe hain dene do kyuki dhoka dena unka kaam hai aur samhlna tumhara kaam.

Lastly the words of my darling Supriya rang in my ears-“jo insan achha hota hai uske sath kabhi bura ni ho sakta”. I said to myself “beta shanky rone ki koi zarurat nahi hai, agar kuch achha ni ho rha hai to bura bhi nahi hoga, tum bas geet gungunate chalo aur apni raah banate chalo kyuki JEENA ISI KA NAAM HAI”!!!!