The fight to "Choose"

I am always fascinated by people who keep themselves out of the crowd. The fact that top 1% of the people in this world possess almost 50% of the world's wealth tells us that these 1% of the people must be doing something different. There is only one 66 year old politician/citizen, Modi, who became PM of India, he has to be different than thousands of men of his age in India. While we are doing our 9 to 5 jobs, there are good number of self-made millionaires under 30 years of age around the world. While we sit in our luxury apartments, our friends are working on bringing a social change, helping the needy or building a new social entrepreneurial firm.

But how are these people any different than us? How do they manage to stand out? I understand that not everyone can become Steve Jobs nor does everyone aspire to become Steve Jobs, but what amazes me is that there was only one such teenager in the whole world who did things differently to become Steve Jobs. Jack Ma got rejected by Harvard University 10 times but he reached a level where none of the Harvard graduates could. Why? How?

I have a friend- K Vinay Rao, who comes from a very small town/village in West Bengal, India, but he is the only kid from his town to reach a level where his efforts changed the face of his family. What was different about K Vinay Rao?

Such observations/questions led me to read more about such people and the first thing that I noticed in all of them is the way they would think and the CHOICES they make which is influenced by the way they think. "Choice" is such a simple word that leaves a huge impact on one's life. Lately, the one thing that helps me keep away from smoking (trying my best) is the thought of making a choice at the moment when I have an urge to smoke- Why should I CHOOSE to smoke? And this question in my head helps me make the right choice (for the most part :D ). When I have some work to do and the feeling of procrastination creeps in, I tell myself- You do have an option to work, would you rather choose to procrastinate? It is extremely difficult to ask yourself such a question, control your mind and CHOOSE the right thing to do. While most of us come back from work and CHOOSE to relax by watching TV series, there would be a guy in the Silicon Valley who would chose to work his ass off after work on his own innovative idea. Some of my friends- Samrat, Ashwini, Harsh, Anurag, Rafik ( and a few more) CHOSE to quit their good paying jobs and started their own ventures. Was this choice easy for them? Definitely NOT. But why do they make such choices? In my opinion:

1. They are more aware of themselves and their surroundings.
2. They have a vision and they are mentally prepared to face the initial struggle to defend their choices.
3. They value time. They are not the one's who say "Wake me up when September ends".
4. They are inspired either by their experiences in life or by the people around them.
5. They first compete with their own self.
6. They always have a clear picture of their big goal.

For the past 2 years I have been wanting to visit my friends in Minnesota. Last month I thought- "What is stopping me from going there?" I had no answer. I looked at my calendar and figured out the weekend when I had no fixed plans and I simply booked by tickets to Minnesota. Had I not booked my tickets, it would have been another "relaxing" weekend at home for me, but I CHOSE a different option. Starting June of this year, I decided to run everyday. Sometimes I come back from work and I am tired, but I give myself a minute and remind myself that I need to be determined and then I CHOOSE to run. I have realized that making a choice is the first step but being focused on the choices you make is the key to success.

Anything we do, we choose to do it, its our CHOICE, but remember- There is always an option, so choose wisely my friend. You need to fight with yourself to CHOOSE the right thing, just make sure you win that battle with yourself !!

An Indian Wedding to learn from

Unity in diversity, the cultural diversity is the backbone of my country- India. We practice different religions and we try to respect the religious beliefs of each other. After I moved to the United States, I learned how famous Indian weddings are outside of India and as a matter of fact Indian weddings are one of the most fancy weddings I have known so far. Indian weddings are not just about the celebration of the beginning of two individuals getting married but it is about celebrating the new relationship between the two families.

I am not too happy to mention that even after 68 years of our independence, religion and caste still play a vital role in Indian weddings. Although more and more people are growing up to having a neutral and educated perspective of the diversity in religion and caste, inter-religion and even inter-caste marriages are still not very easily accepted in our society. As I always tend to share my personal experiences in life, today I would like to share an amazing experience I have had with the wedding of the two very dear friends of mine- Avi and Neha.

Avi and Neha have been dating each other since high school and finally in their mid 20s, they decided to marry each other. Avi and Neha practice different religions and as I said, inter-religion marriage is not yet very common in India and hence starts the fun. For them, finally it was the time to formally ask their parents to give a green light for their wedding. Avi and Neha both have a very rational thinking and both of them belong to well educated families. They knew that the social approval process would not be as smooth as silk but they had confidence in their parents. Most of the Indian parents are very deeply influenced by the Indian society and even after being educated, most parents are not able to break the mental barrier of inter-religion marriage especially when it's about their own kid. Rational thinking and wedding does not go along very well in India.

Now here comes the difference between being literate and being educated. Since I know Avi's parents much closely than Neha's, let me talk about them. They treated this case beyond the boundaries of religion, for Avi's parents Neha was a girl their son truly loved. For his parents it was as simple as trusting their son's decision and in fact Avi's dad offered to approach Neha's parents to talk about their wedding. All his dad cared about was the happiness of his son and not the social tantrums of an inter-religion wedding. This is such a good example to spread and to learn from. The little that I know, both families did face some social hurdles within their own families and sme of their relatives just refused to attend this wedding but the best part was that both Avi and Neha's parents had already anticipated such disapproval within their families and they chose to ignore it because they were determined not to influence their decision based on irrational thinking of the society.

Avi's dad is one gem of a person. Avi did not want his wedding to be held in a very traditional way with a priest chanting some religious mantras on the day of their wedding so Avi's dad prepared a wedding script which he recited both in Bengali and in English and it was completely non-religious. Neha's family appreciated the move and they also decided to conduct the wedding in a very non-traditional and non-religious manner. Avi and Neha had their first wedding ceremony in the US in a Christian style (none of them are Christian by religion), then in India they got married in their respective religious traditions in a non-religious fashion. It was just so cool to see my friends getting married 3 times in 3 different styles in a society that does not explicitly approve of such acts of pure love beyond religion. I wish I could share this story with every Indian parent so that they can learn how important it is to trust their kids and think beyond the social boundaries.

Recently people in India were talking about my country being intolerant but the truth of the matter is that the individuals need to be tolerant for the nation to be tolerant and individuals like Avi and Neha's parents are contributing to make our country tolerant and practical. We need to understand that caste and religion are man made things. Why judge someone by things that aren't under their control? Bottom line is that god created us simply as human beings and human beings framed us in to different religions, so why not judge each other based on humanity? Humanity is natural, it is the fundamental characteristic of human race.

Examples of weddings like this are actually helping our society to change their mindset and behave as educated people. I have never been so amazed and impressed by someone's wedding as I am with Avi-Neha's. Thank you Avi and Neha, I am proud to know you guys and be your friend. Thank you to your parents for teaching us a much needed lesson !!

Happiness OR Satisfaction

I am about to turn 26 in a few hours and I just wanted to share something that I have realized in my recent past. I am an observer and a thinker. When I look at our society, especially my generation, I try to analyze what is going around, I try to learn and adapt the best practices to make myself a better human being. I wish to continue doing this forever and ever.

I want to share my thoughts on happiness and satisfaction, how do I define them and what is the difference between happiness and satisfaction according to me and where are we going wrong with it.

Lets look at few examples- You buy a new cell phone. Are you happy? Definitely yes! Are you satisfied? May or may not be...right?

You go on a vacation. Are you happy? I guess you should be. Are you satisfied? Again may or may not be.

You secure a good paying job. Are you happy? Well money shouldn't let you down, but are you satisfied? Big question, right?

How long would such a happiness going to stay with you? A day? A week? A month would be over exaggerated. 

I have one thing to say- Satisfaction guarantees happiness but happiness cannot guarantee satisfaction! Bottom line.

So what should you look for? Happiness OR Satisfaction? 

I see that many of us are happy with our life. But ask yourself...Am I satisfied? Take one moment before you read further and ask yourself- What is that one thing that I have done that makes me feel satisfied? So do you have an answer?

Satisfaction comes with achievement and achievement should come with milestones that you set forth for yourself. Again take a moment and ask yourself- What is my next milestone in life? Do you have an answer? If not then you are not doing it right my friend.

Lets see what is satisfaction.

You buy a new cell phone, but this is not just another cell phone. You craved for it, you set your monthly budget to save for it, you decided that no matter what but next year I want to award myself with this cell phone and now here it is. Satisfied, right?

You go on a vacation. But this is not just another vacation. You planned for it years back, you set your milestone that I will work hard to earn myself a self sponsored tour to Europe or Goa. Satisfied, right?

You get a new job. But this is not just another job, this is what you wanted to do or this is the company you wanted to work for. You set a target for yourself and you achieved it. How did you feel? or How would you feel? Just happy or satisfied & happy?

I see quite a lot of people in the age group 22-30 who live very similar life. Bachelors degree, say yeyyy! Masters degree, say yoooo! A fine paying job and there you go, life is set. Is that you? Yes you?

We have so much misinterpreted the words fun and happiness. Each one of us have our own definitions of happiness and I support that because at the end of the day each one of us should live a happy life. We all deserve it. But I strongly feel that happiness coming in package with satisfaction is the right way to do it.

How many of you crib about your job? How many of you just see one positive factor with your job and that's the money coming in. I would assume at least a few of you if not many. Well we spend 8 long hours of our day at office...shouldn't we love what we do and make our work place a little better for ourselves? Don't you think if you really take interest in completing a project at work then your pay check will give you much more happiness and satisfaction? It just annoys me when people are not happy at work, they don't love what they do, they are just not satisfied. If so, move your asses and do something that you would like. Are you afraid that you would not get the job you like? Do you think you deserve it? Do you think you have the talent to get your dream job? Go get it rather than wasting your time. But be satisfied my friend. That's the key! 

Happiness that comes from partying on weekends, shopping, going out with friends and family etc are important but are very short lived. When you achieve something and you feel satisfied, that feeling of happiness will stay with you for life. Isn't that something that excites you?

For those handful of people who have set milestones but are afraid to try because they are skeptical of their success...my friend even failure could be satisfactory because you tried, because you gave your best. There is no way you could feel the magic unless you step into those shoes.

Go discover yourself, go find something to do which will make you satisfied rather than doing something that gives you a temporary happiness which you might not even remember the next day or next week.

This post is dedicated to our CONFUSED GENERATION. Please take it as a positive criticism. I may not be the best but I am definitely not YOU my friend.

Thanks for reading.

Love ya all !!

My One Year Vacation in OC

Yes last one year has been completely adventurous for me at this new location: Ocean City (OC), Maryland. For I believe that being on vacation for a complete year, would not be possible again before (and if) I retire and it would not be, for sure, as adventurous as this has been. July 2013, I completed my graduation and in August 2013 I moved from Michigan to Maryland for work. The little that I knew about this place before I reached OC, I was surprised, this place was actually an island, you could find a hotel easier than a place to rent and live, there were more bars and restaurants than Offices, entire OC was full of visitors, crowded roads and beaches; man a total paradise.

The heading of this post "My One Year Vacation in OC" could be a little misleading and should not be misunderstood by lying on beaches, drinking and enjoying with friends. Yes it was definitely a part of it but not all of it. I call it a vacation because I guess "time" sent me here to learn and move on while having an amazing fun experience in life. If you are going through tough times (personally or professionally) or have gone through at some point in time then you would most likely be able to connect to my story and for others it could just be an alert for the times to come (there are other people for whom life just could be "EASY & FUN", my post or any of my posts are not for them).

I could not have ever been at any better place to realize my own strengths and my weaknesses than OC. I started working with a start-up company in OC. Little that I knew about this company (which is funny), I was their first full-time employee whom they planned on supporting and keeping to the best of their capabilities. Well this situation was very weird but exciting at the same time. It took me no time to think about the growth of the company as a whole rather than just focusing on my job tasks and my performance. I felt like I was an integral part of the company while my friends and family have been constantly suggesting me to look for better opportunities but I thought may be this is the best opportunity, to work with a start-up and learn not just engineering but how a business is run. It has been almost an year working in OC and now I stand stranded in a position where the roads ahead seem more and more difficult with each passing day. Need a new job badly now. Sometimes I feel like I took a wrong decision and may be I was way too optimistic with what I can get out of my current job but when I look back at the entire scenario, I observe few good things and a series of hardships that have helped me into growing as a better person, increased the level of my patience and gave me an opportunity to understand how a business is run especially the don'ts of a business.

Before I started working, everything in my life was so much planned ahead of time and by god's grace everything happened as per the plan but recently I have learned that these uncertainties in life and the risks of life is what makes it more exciting to live if you look at it the right way. Things never happen for bad if you try to extract the lessons that you can learn from your hardships. In my case this phase has made me realize that if I have it in me, I will get a good opportunity, may not be soon enough but definitely. Another big thing that I recently learned through my friends (Nirupam, Sayantani, Upamanyu and Balaji) that time is not going to stop; there is no point worrying about the things that you can put your sincere efforts into (applying to jobs in my case) and achieve it. And this is exactly what I have been doing for a month. I do not have an offer in hand but currently I am being interviewed by some of the top solar companies in the US (which obviously was a result of my efforts, still continuing) and 3-4 hours in a day I spend either chilling with my friends or by contributing my time towards my passion in poetry, political speeches, social work and learning how to establish a solid business.

If I was not positive about the difficult situation I am in (and tonne of thanks to my buddies for that), probably I would be wasting my time and energy worrying about it, which actually most of us do (I have done that several times in the past). As a person it made me strong enough to control my mind to not think about negative stuff that could happen if I do not get another job in time. And friends, one really needs to put in a lot of efforts to do that. I have failed many times and few negative thoughts have managed to sail through but if you fight it every single time then your mind will be in good shape soon. Happiness is a mind game after all. Key is- Do not blame the situation/people, have confidence in yourself and keep moving. Keep moving with patience!! Trust me even if you have talent and confidence but not patience then its simply not going to work. Tell yourself that "Whatever the outcome may be, all I know is I have to give my best and I am giving my best". If things doesn't work (it didn't work for me for like a month), then change your approach (I learned using LinkedIn for my job search and all my interviews have been a result of that) but keep trying baby coz its coming...ohh yeah its coming baebehh !!

I am sure all of you would have read these so called inspiring philosophical lines somewhere and so have I, but my reason of blogging it is just to let you know that it works. And yes, when it works you feel absolutely amazing about yourself because by then you know that if ever again you are into a deep shit situation, you would be able to sail through it. No one else can be a better guide than you yourself. Feeling bad/discouraged at times is very much human but its illegal to have those feelings effect your output. Mind it !!

Life is awesome because I am awesome at choosing my F.R.I.E.N.D.S. And yes, there have been some least expected people whom I did not even consider close but they helped me keep my spirits high all this time. God bless such good people. Time to say good bye to OC and these awesome fun loving people. Alas!

Please do share if you have any such experience(s). I would appreciate it. Keep reading, love you all !!

What did I do? The Initiative

Finally after completing my Masters I got a chance to see around and observe how my society looks like. Its not that I did not care about my society earlier, its just that I was waiting for the right time when I would be able to contribute to my society with dedication. I read an article sometime during my bachelor's which said "We provide funds to IITs, NITs and other government colleges so that these sharp minds can develop their skills without spending much and later SERVE THE SOCIETY", I don't remember who wrote that article and today I won't criticize our education system. The fact lies here- The amount I spent in four years of my engineering is almost equal to the amount one spends in a year in a private college. So someone paid for my education, someone invested in me- WHO? (I don't care) but WHY (yes WHY?), I asked myself this question and the lines from that article stuck my mind. It might sound filmy or funny but it is what it is, that's how I felt and that's what I thought.

India has the second largest population in the world and the kind of history my country is associated with, I cannot refrain myself from the fact that there would be problems. Many problems have been solved but plenty of them exists even after more than 60 years of independence. Yeah sure you will now blame the government for it but someone might blame you for choosing that government and that would end up in a never ending BLAME GAME.

I will just quote a small personal experience. Last month I was on Skype with my parents and I saw a young girl (probably 12-13 years old) sweeping the floor of my house who incidentally walked in front of the webcam. I asked my Mom "Who is she?". She replied that the young girl works in the colony and cleans everyone's house. I was curious and I asked the girl "How are you working during the day time? Don't you have to go to your school? Do you even study?", and the girl wasn't expecting this question. She was stuck with silence while my Mom spoke "She studied till class 8th and now she works to earn some income for herself and her family". I thought- Really Mom!! Is that the reason you would give me. I know it was true but I felt disgusted by my Mom saying that without even thinking that she is entertaining child labor. I know she is educated enough to realize that it is wrong but I felt my Mom conveyed the helplessness of that girl. But wait, who is helpless here? My mom? NO! Rather she has a feeling that she is doing good by letting the poor girl work and earn some money. I know money is important but still my Mom was wrong. Being a educated citizen she should not have entertained child labor at the first place. This is what I concluded. What my Mom is doing and several such families do is a CRIMINAL OFFENSE which is not judged by "helplessness".

But who is wrong here? The girl's family is poor, they cannot afford the girl's education and they need money ( yes you might call them helpless here) plus they are not educated enough (or aware enough) to THINK that their child deserves a way better future. I am a kind of person who thinks "What did I do?" and in this case as my parents were the subject, I had a question "What did my parents do?"

Now just keeping that question in my mind, I was reminded of a very similar example. One of my college's senior (Harsh Vardhan Singh), who once made a short movie which was selected in the Cannes Film Festival, used some of the uneducated/poor/underprivileged kids (who belonged to a village/community called "Bihari More" near NIT Durgapur's campus) for his movie. After returning from the Cannes Film Festival in France, he felt guilty of using these kids for his movie. He asked himself "What can I do?" and now he runs a group called BMEP (Bihari More Education Project) through which these poor kids are being educated. BMEP is not any organization or NGO or something, it was just an INITIATIVE of Harsh bhai and his friends and all the volunteers of BMEP (who teach these kids) are students of NIT Durgapur. The novel concept of BMEP was appreciated and encouraged by everyone associated with NIT Durgapur. Now the Alumnus of our college raise funds to provide books+bags+shoes etc to these kids, our college has given the permission to use the classrooms to teach these kids, good students among these kids are being admitted to good schools. A lot of good things are happening through BMEP, and everyone involved (especially the volunteers who are undergraduates and devote their time to teach these kids) is so selfless (NOT HELPLESS).

Now coming back to the girl's scenario working at my home back in India, are my parents really helpless to let that girl sweep my house and do nothing about it? NO, my parents simply did not take any initiative. But what initiatives I am talking about?
1. My parents could approach a school in the locality and ask for her admission. Some schools do have provision of lower fee/no fee for such kids.
2. My parents could have contributed an hour everyday to teach the girl.
3. If money was a hurdle in her education, my parents could have supported her education. (We can spend lakhs of Rupees on jewelery, food, clothes etc but we cannot spend Rs.500 or Rs. 1000 per month to support a child's education. That does not make any sense to me. Not at all).
4. Her parents could be educated/ made aware of the fact that child labor is illegal or in worst case could have been forced to stop it.
5. My parents could have simply thought that this girl also deserves as good a education as they have given to their own daughter.

To bring any change in India is very demotivating because very few would support you. And trust me at times the most difficult things becomes convincing your own parents. "Arrey beta kaha inn chakkaro me padd rhe ho". People plan to save money for next two months to buy a watch/ go on a tour or spend in one form or the other on themselves. I too have such plans for my saving but I have also planned to save for the education of that girl and she will start going to school from the next session :)

By no means I am concentrating on government policies for poor kids or NGOs or anything. By all means my question remains "What did I do?" "What did you do?" and the answer is "Look what BMEP is doing". I am not aware of the scenario of India as a whole, I only see things and people around me, I only see problems and solutions around me, I only learn from my experiences and from people around me. And so I try to do what I am supposed to do rather than bitching about the government or any third party.

The story of the girl I shared applies to so many kids in India and the story of my Mom applies to almost all of us ( the so called educated class of society, the "above average" income families but excluding people like BMEP volunteers). Things does not seem real until you do it, until you TAKE THE INITIATIVE. And things look so simple just after you take the initiative and you feel so good from within. Trust me on that!

I recently started my initiative called "Happy living, Healthy living" for the BMEP kids through which they would be taught the benefits of sanitation and how health creates wealth. I have never been so excited and never felt such satisfaction from within. And let me tell you THE ONLY TOUGH TASK OF MY INITIATIVE WAS TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE.

So the point is, there is solution to every problem but the problem of not finding the solution lies in not taking the initiative. Why can't everyone be his/her own government? Why can't I and you make our own 5 year policies? Why can't we allocate a portion of our funds for the betterment of our society? Why can't I simply try to stop/oppose if something is illegal? Why can't I educate/spread awareness among the people I meet in my day to day life? Why do I just see things happening? Why am I so helpless? DARE TO ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS!!

I support each one teach one. And why not? If I earn Rs. 30,000.00 a month, cant I spend Rs.1000.00 a month on a child's education? If you cannot, then just give me a breakup of where you are spending these Rs.30,000 a month. Ohh well who am I? Why would you share the breakup of your expenses with me? Why would you send Rs.1000.00 on someone you don't know? After all you earned every bit of that money through your hard work and by all means you deserve to spend it on yourself. Isn't it. If your answer is YES then sorry this post was not meant for you and sorry to waste your valuable time. Go and do Facebook my friend, you don't belong here.

Thank you for reading :)

The DEADWEIGHT LOSS !!

It is all because of my interest in Economics and the awesome professors at Michigan Tech that I understood a big aspect of a human being's life. Economics is not all about efficient money management, it taught me benefit-loss analysis related to one's personal life.

DEADWEIGHT LOSS- In my language Deadweight Loss refers to a loss to a person and the society which cannot be recovered.

In personal life deadweight loss is when you miss your change of doing something which has its maximum value at a particular time. Some things if done at the right time gives you the ultimate satisfaction, once that time has gone then doing the same thing would never satisfy you as much as doing it at the right time.

I have made enough deadweight losses. When I was a kid I always wanted to participate in my school's extra co-curricular activities but I never got permission from my parents as all they wanted was me to study and get good marks. I was in 10th grade and my school arranged for a trip to DPS R.K. Puram during the summer vacations. All my close friends were going on the trip to DPS R.K. Puram and my parents asked me to join a coaching institute for IIT-JEE preparations. The cost of the trip was some Rs.6000/- and may be this was the reason that my parents did not want me to go. I don't know what but all I know is... that was a trip I missed, I was sad and my parents knew it. I had no answer to the question of my friends that why I was not going on the trip. My friends had crazy fun, they came back with lots of cherishing memories and on the other hand I had a deadweight loss. There were little things like spending no money on clothes, on my birthday parties etc that kept adding to my deadweight losses. There are only little things which make you the happiest person in the world when you are a kid. When I was in 12th grade, a friend of mine asked me about the places I have visited...any hill station or any family trip. I had no answer because every summer my family used to visit either at my grand parent's place or I was attending some coaching institute. My dad's friends used to take their family on vacations but that never influenced him for any good.

There were few things which I never knew existed. May it be some popular food joint, brand of clothes, about cars, shopping malls, places, mobile phones etc because I never experienced it. Till 12th grade I had never been to any shopping mall, no Mc Donalds, no KFC..no family vacations..nothing.

I know these things are not a necessity of a human being and there are many kids who even do not have food to eat, but looking back I can see that my family could have afforded all these little not so very expensive things and the list of my deadweight losses could have been quite small. There is no point regretting but things could have been way better.

2007, I left home and was staying in my college's hostel. Life was fun, I had money and there was no one to restrict me from doing anything. I fulfilled my urge to participate in extra co-curricular activities. By the end of my college life I had done it all.... cultural fests, technical fests, Radio shows, acting, street plays...I did everything possible. There is still one thing to note. Because of the way I was brought up since childhood, there were things which were hard for me to even imagine when I grew up, like spending money on good clothes, going out on a trip with friends, clubbing, partying and all those things that you crave for when you are a teenager. I had money but my mind never allowed me to spend money on LIVING GOOD because that is how my mind was shaped and I could not get over it. If someone ask me today to go on a trip to GOA...I would say it would not be as much fun as compared to a GOA trip taken when I was in college. College days were the best time to go to Goa and have fun with friends. Those days are gone. That peak fun I would never be able to achieve again. The fun which a lot of my friends had. That was the perfect time.

Many of my college friends went to Darjeeling, a beautiful hill station near my college. I never had courage to ask my parents some money to make a trip there, because I knew mostly they would say no because for them all that mattered was me doing good academically, rest was waste of money and time. I still want to visit Darjeeling but I would not have the same craze of visiting that place. I have added my trip to Darjeeling to my deadweight loss list.

One interesting thing, during college days I had lots of money. My dad never said no to whatever amount of money I asked from him. But eventually for me buying good clothes, eating at good places, partying, were things which people with money could do. I never realized I could have had the same fun spending money on good living than on cheap booze and OTHER STUFFS.

When you are in a professional world you would never have the same craze of wearing a fancy outfit, going out with friends on a vacation, buying a new phone, buying a pair of shoes or buying an expensive watch. Because the essence of doing things is doing it at the right time.

Now when I have realized this aspect of life, I have never missed a chance to live good, I have never missed a chance to minimize my deadweight losses. may it be making trip with my friends to New York, California, Washington D.C. or buying watches, shoes, car or doing bungee jumping, late night parties....I am experiencing it all. In next three years I will visit all the states in United States, I will go on a Euro trip, I will visit Canada, I will buy some more sexy watches, lots of shoes, clothes and a good camera. I WILL.

I MAY BE LOW ON MONEY BUT I AM HIGH ON LIFE...A SURE THING!!

And yes I am inspired to minimize my deadweight losses through my friends. I look at my friend Anurag Dwivedi and I find him going on camping and hiking trips with his friends...exploring places in India and capturing everything in his camera. I am sure life will not be as much fun for him doing the same stuff sometime later in his life. A lot of my friends live life for the moment and thats how life should be. Enjoy life but do not take it easy and do not make it easy by going with the flow.

Have an aim, fight to achieve it, minimize your deadweight losses, do things at the RIGHT TIME and you will be so much satisfied with your life. Money might be the problem but remember time is a bigger problem any day. This is what I have learned from my friends and through my own experiences.

Things happen for good. The good thing here is I am doing it right now and at the right time. If you could connect your story with mine (which I guess most of you would) then please do not add anymore deadweight loss to your life my friend. If you want something today, it won't please you much tomorrow.

MONEY CAN BUY TIME....just think over it.
Love you all! Thanks for reading :)

Some strange friends

Sometimes its so strange to talk to strangers, especially when you are on a different land with different people of different culture, different living habits and may be different thinking.

31st July I left India for the U.S. after my summer holidays were over. I moved over to Duluth, Minnesota, for my 4 months long internship. I had a fear....What will I do in Duluth without my friends?

In Duluth I shared a 2 BHK house with a girl named Melissa. I was almost confined to my room the first day, she was good enough to ask me for dinner but I said "I would cook something on my own, thanks anyways for asking". Well there was a thing to notice which I did not notice until she told me that her friend, Amy, was there at the house when I reached Duluth. Well the thing to notice was that, Amy was there with a purpose. The very second day Melissa told me that one of her friends was scammed by an Indian guy for a fake cheque which the guy gave for buying her friend's car. After this incident, Melissa had a negative impression of Indians and so did her friends and family. Amy was there to protect Melissa just in case if I was too a scammer.  To my surprise, before I reached Duluth, Melissa did also inquire about me with the company I got my internship at. Again it was really nice on her part to tell me this on her own. As days passed by, she could understand that not all Indians are scammers. We built a good friendship in just couple of weeks; whenever she was free..she used to take me around Duluth. After knowing my last year's passive experiences in the U.S. she wanted me to do "One new thing everyday", yeah that became a rule for me, each day I had to do something which I had never done before, may it be visiting some new place, eating new food, involving in a new sport or just anything. It was fun. I became friends with a lot of her friends. Later she also became my English grammar teacher :P

Two weeks later, one of Melissa's friend cum co-worker, Frank, came to live with us in the house. Frank's house and every little thing that he owned was damaged in the flood last month. I found Frank to be very quite for the first few days. Later I got to know of all he lost in flood, about his divorce, death of his dog who was with him for last 10 years and death of his very good friend recently. Man, he had seen a lot in last few months. He had our sympathy but the best part was that he knew how to tackle such situations in life, he was strong, atleast stronger than me.

Gradually me, Melissa and Frank started spending more time together at home and outside, we three became really good friends. Then one day I got a message from Melissa asking if I could call her asap, I was working in office but I gave her a call and she was crying on phone. That morning as she walked in the store where she used to work, she was fired for NO REASON. She felt like she was in middle of no where; some days later Frank figured out that it was the store owner's daughter who did not like Melissa for her happy and jolly nature and pulled her out of the job. But before we could know the reason, Melissa was all set to leave Duluth, she was all set to leave me and Frank.

Living with Melissa, I learned how to stay young and active, how we could experiment something new everyday and make life exciting, how to stay healthy and how to make friends. She was 28, mature enough to guide me while I am 23. It was her because of whom I made so many friends in Duluth, almost everyone at her work place knew me, she had taken me to her parent's house which probably is the most soothing place I have ever visited. But I was happy that she was moving ahead in life after this shocking experience, she got a new job. She left, I thought I would have no friends except for Frank. I was sad.

Just few days after she left, my interaction with Frank grew more. I learned about whole lot of friends he had in Duluth and as he says "There is no place I could go unnoticed in Duluth" and really every time we both hung outside together, atleast one of his friends crashed into him. Frank was a guy with patience for the most difficult phases of his life but an impatient one for the silliest of things like if someone drives slow in front of his car on road...that would piss him off like anything. Frank was 38 and he knew a lot more about life than I did. He was a history lover but he had knowledge of many different fields, he was geeky. I started going to Lake Ave Cafe with Frank where every Wednesday we used to play board games, I met a lot of new and lovely people there. And then started our series of late night parties. Yes, my last two months of stay at Duluth was full of some crazy parties I have ever been to including one 14 hours long drinking session with Frank, his family and friends. He had crazy friends and crazy family; thats what I loved about the parties. I even cannot count how many friends I made through Frank.

No doubt I had the toughest of my time in Duluth, there were some situations I had never imagined would come to me, there were times when I felt alcohol is the only solution, there were times when I burnt my lungs to death because I had nothing better to do. Whenever I was alone at home, I used to be so impatient, full of negative thoughts. "An empty mind is a devil's workshop"; I screwed my lovely 'personal life' to an extent where things became unrecoverable, I was marked with a permanent dent. There were times when I thought that may be doing this internship was the worst decision I have ever made.

But thanks to Melissa and Frank who have taught me some big lessons in life, it is just because of these two super awesome friends that I think doing my internship was worth an experience. So much you learn when you have friends to tell you of a totally different culture, how people think in their country, about their god, about their religion and its fun when they ask you about your country and culture.

I am back to my college in Michigan but still talking to them seems like the best thing to do. These friends were strange because the culture I belong to, one mostly has a friend circle of his/her age group but thanks to the culture of this country that we do not have an age barrier for making friends.

Tickets to my Final Destination

This post is dedicated to my Final Destination. When I was leaving India a few months back, people used to say "You wont come back from America, you would settle there". In fact my seniors, my friends who were already in the US said the same. When I was in school, my dad's close friend used to say to me "Son never go to America, my only son went to study there and now he is settled over there only..I rare to even see him". While leaving India, I had these words in my mind and the thought that "I will come back for sure" and with these feelings I left my mom down in tears at New Delhi airport on August 9th, and yes this day was very special..birthday of the best sister in the world who would be showering her blessings and love on me from heaven, her new home.

When I started with my classes here at Michigan Tech, I really loved the way professors taught and the way students attended the lectures. The US education system was undoubtedly better, if not the best. There are few factors I really loved about this country apart from education system. "Equal opportunity employer" yes this is what I found on most of the recruiting websites. They value everyone, may it be an engineer, may it be your cab driver or a plumber, unlike India where we (including me) would not treat an engineer and a plumber with the same respect (with regards to their job profile). Everyone shares the same status, if I would have been a cab driver in India, I would surely have felt some inferiority in front of a company manager or if not then the society would have made me feel so (in general, of coarse there are modest people too). People do not watch out for their expressions in public, now not talking in general but I really become conscious of my expressions in public and behave as if someone is keeping a watch over me all the time. So actually what I felt is these things do induce confidence in you and this is my personal observation/perception that people (aam janta) here are more confident in expressions, words and thoughts than I was back in my country.

Now coming to the main point of this post. Will I return to India? Why or Why not?
# Well just few days back I was in Chicago, enjoying my Spring break. A beautiful city and a good place to be at for a change. I went to a shop with two other friends of mine. The lady at that shop was an Indian (Gujarati), we placed orders with her, she served our burgers and donuts, she did greet us very warmly...a nice lady. When we returned back to our hotel that night I was thinking..'when people go to US from India, we generally think that they might be doing some good job (yeah in India we define a good job and a bad job, which now I feel should not be done) but she has come miles away to serve burgers to customers (which I would have termed a bad job with my previous thinking), why? And I put this question to my friends I had come along with to Chicago.
I really got a very nice reply from my friend, here it is- "First of all no work is big or small, good or bad. Secondly what do you think this lady would have done or how much she would have earned back in India with almost no academic degree in her hand?". I literally agreed to my friend and I was sort of blank for a moment. He continued "Without a good academic profile she would be earning more than some literate in India, so whats bad". And yes that was very true.

# One of my home mate's Uncle and Aunt live here in the US. He went to see them few months back, when he returned he used to tell me about the luxury cars they had, about their lavish house, their lifestyle and everything else. Then he said "My uncle recently retired from his job" to which I replied "Then what is he doing here? Why he does not go back to India and live rest of his life there? Anyways he is done with his job...he must take his family back to the land he belongs to." Then my home mate replied "Do you think after the kind of life he lived here, he would ever wish to go back to India, where possibly never he would have been what he is now, anyways he visits India once or twice every year, why would he sacrifice this lavish life which he earned with his hard work in the US?". I was confused but nodded my head in agreement to his arguments because he was at least not wrong.

Now if I look at my life ahead, with a masters degree in US I will surely earn 3-4 times more than a Masters student would earn in India (again in general). Its clear where does the profit lies. No returning tickets to India then. Isn't it?? And here I would like to pause you for a moment and ask you to think about the word "profit". Yes to me profit is not a salary that pays me more or a lavish life in the US. There is only one thing I find in the US in terms of profit and that is MONEY which can buy almost anything for you these days. For me there are other priorities that bother me more. I cant live all my life serving a company who pays for my labor and makes profit out of me. I consider staying back in the US as purely being selfish, which I would never prefer to be (and yes as I said the word profit has different meaning for different people). I want my final destination to be India.

I do not wish to exactly share my future plans now because I fear if I would really be able to make it or not and the second reason is your priorities in life change and when this reason hits me..I get a flash back  "Son never go to America, my only son went to study there and now he is settled over there only..I rare to even see him".
I have no clue how things will shape up in my life but I do realize what my priorities are and what kind of profits would make me happy, so as of now I can say I will book "Tickets to my Final Destination" finally one day.

Regards
Shankaransh

To Be OR Not To Be

As the years are passing by, the world is progressing, some people are growing happy, some more sad, some are growing richer..some poorer, some parts of the world getting peaceful, some more violent, few youth is getting ambitious..some more aimless. Amidst all these I find my country India and the countrymen earning gains in economy, education,health and so many different fields but I look at it with a different angle and as I travel more around the world I get to know my Bharat more and more. I could read what India was, I could see what India is and I wonder what India would be, and then this thought comes to my mind- "To be or not to be"!

Why do we celebrate Diwali? What is the meaning of Rakshabandhan? Why is Cow a holy animal for us? Why do we start everything with name of Lord Ganesha? Why many Indians are vegetarian? Why women put bindi over their head? Why do you have so many languages?....And a lot of other questions that people ask us when we are abroad making me realize how less I know my country, how less I know of my culture, how less I know of Indian traditions, how less I know about our mother.
You must have got an Idea why I have titled this blog "To be or not to be"!

I wonder why are we moving so far from ourselves? The new face of India (we, the youth) is changing the country both in a positive and a negative way. I do agree that we must move on with time, but I don't understand why we need to loose or ignore the aspects that make us unique in this world!

"The principal official language of the Republic of India is Standard Hindi, while English is the secondary official language." says our government. Do we really respect this? I have caught people so many times explaining me stuff in English which they could not convey in Hindi and I guess everyone has noticed this. Haven't you faced a situation when you wonder whats the Hindi of some XYZ word? Don't you think it would have been a better case the other way around. I could find no reason for speaking English to be stamped as something called "modern and growing". Though it is necessary but must not be our priority. Go to any other part of the world and you would find this kind of situation no where. I feel really shameful when our politicians deliver their speech in English inside Lok Sabha, people looking around for Hindi words, some getting rejected in an interview only because he could not convey his knowledge well in English. Anywhere in India you go you would find waiters, shopkeepers everyone speaking in English. Once I asked a girl serving me Pizza at Pizza Hut.."Why do you speak in English, are you ashamed of talking to me in English?", she said "Sir, we are trained to speak in English to give a rich and attractive look to the young generation"..aahhh so very dumb.

I know India has so many spoken languages in different parts of it, but why are me making English a common language to converse? Wouldn't it be better if a Bengali and a Telugu guy conversing in Hindi than English? Why to make English as a common media within our own country itself? We tend to learn new English words but if we try to use some Pure Hindi words at public display..we are tagged "Gawar"! Yes it happens and you CANNOT deny that. Speaking English is NOT at all bad, but what about our treatment to our official language?

The WAR OF STATES is the second thing that surprises me. The moment you say you are from Bihar, Kerela, Tamil Nadu or Uttar Pradesh you loose your impression. Why the hell? I am least bothered about the history of our states, I just wonder the youth fighting war of states, what is there to be proud of belonging to a State of India? Do you own that state? Do you rule that state? Are you the reason for the good/bad economic or social conditions of the state? What makes you proud of belonging to Punjab or Maharashtra or Gujrat? Let me ask "Who are you?"...You are just another resident of that state by the virtue of your family's history for which you have not at all contributed, so please stop taking credit or feeling proud of a history you have not created. Its not a talk about a guy from Uttar Pradesh or a guy from South India, its just about that human being, he may be good or bad, rich or poor, intelligent or dump, caring or cunning but that does not represent his home state, its just him or the people around him (his family background) that defines that person.
 "arrey tumhare state me to aisa hote hai..waisa hota hai, arrey ye mallu sale bahut harami hote hain, ye bihar wale sare k sare gawar hain, ye benagli sab bahut chalak aur kanjus hote hain, Delhi ki ladkiya characterless hoti hain, UP wale to sab bhaiya hote hain"...damn you people, come out of the box, if they are bad..teach them to be good, do something for such people instead of sitting and talking about them, alright. You know what.. this is a darker side of India, if you cannot spread wellness, better mind your own business.

People say "We went to so and so country and had a wonderful intercultural experience", I say just move around India and one would never find a better collection of cultures else where in the world, but do we really enjoy and value this intercultural gift our country has given us? Not much.

Just imagine of a India, where people from other countries are coming, wearing dhoti and saying "that's a modern outfit", a country whose official language becomes Britain's second official language, a country where people work to improve the condition of people of other states, a country where people feel proud to speak Hindi, a country where people say "I am Indian"! All of you of coarse say so but I mean to say an India where people feel "I am an Indian".

When I look at my friends, I get to learn alot, the way they dress, the way they speak, the way they behave at public places, the way they inspire me to think good. But I love being DESI at the end of the day.
People feel so great eating at KFC or Pizza Hut, wearing good foreign brands and all. I look forward to an India which has Indian food chains in the world, people buying Indian brands, listening to Indian bands, watching Indian TV series. We might already have these things but not as much as we are influenced by the Western Countries for these things. We must grow up as India, not a Westernized India that's all I want to say. We do not value what we are, at least not everyone. When I say "We", its the youth including me.

No doubt we are growing bigger and better as a nation, whole world knows that well. But there are a few things I am concerned being a youth, the so called future face of India. I am glad to have friends who think of India and I am also glad to have friends who show me the darker side of youth. We should think universal and above all for our country.

For the very few people who bother to do something for people living in slums, educating illiterates without shouting at the government for not doing anything, spreading Indian art, being from Maharashtra and helping people from Bihar to grow, pushing our traditions to the world, wanting to join politics to do something good for India... Hats off!!!

Please don't try to be someone else, inspire others to be like you. Value yourself, Value India.

Love you all.
Take care readers!

Damn why don't you Understand

I don't know why I am writing down this post, just that I wanted to write one so I am here. It has been a pretty confused time running as of now, I have landed at Michigan, USA for pursuing my Masters. The place is good, people are awesome, but I need to adjust a lot because my under-graduation was way different, may it be the system, my friends or the life. Well without really expressing much..this is all I want to say :

I am not What I am, 
Yeah, what you think is not me, 
Its not me whom you force, 
Don't squeeze my brain, it pains,
Damn why don't you Understand !! 


A path I chose and I am on my way,
The road is smooth, don't push me hey,
Its a long way I have carried my goal,
I don't want to slip,
Damn why don't you Understand !! 


I know I know I should learn,
The way you do is just awesome,
A change is good but I fear,
What you teach is not I want,
Damn why don't you Understand !!


I am not stressed but look at me,
Same nightmare every night I see,
They die they die...yes my family,
Fuck it please I need some peace,
Damn why don't you Understand !!


I have no work, I am so free,
Once they called me a busy bee,
I will party, I will enjoy,
But now I need some work,
Damn why don't you Understand !!


I am so confused for the decision I took,
I want to jump and have a look,
Don't hold me down, don't pull me back,
I want to see whats there ahead,
Damn why don't you Understand !!


Patience and time are running apart,
If I hold them it shakes my heart,
Its a fight I have to win,
Its going to be good at the end of the day,
Damn someone make me Understand !! 

After reading it I know many of you might interpret that I am not happy, but its not the case at all, I am JUST SO VERY CONFUSED these days with a lot of factors influencing them...but as I said "Its a fight I have to win, Its going to be good at the end of the day,"

 Take care readers.
 Love you all !!

My Mumbai Girl - A Story Untold

Around two years down the line I had many questions in my mind regarding chatting, especially the chat rooms which people say are meant for making new friends. Crap. Everyone knows (talking of teenagers here) that it is used for dating and furthermore for mating. THE END.
Now when it comes to chatting with friends too...it was a difficult task for me. I could not sit and chat uselessly.
I have many friends who use these chat rooms to make GFs or have some sexy chats. I never had time for these stuffs. :P

But last summer while I was doing my internship at Turkey, I got much free time and even I used to stay in my office after my scheduled time too. One day just I was blank with what to do and I entered a yahoo chat room. Obviously with no intentions of talking to guys I was pinging only the ones who’s ID indicated that they would be female. For 4-5 days I tried regularly but I could not get a girl to talk to. I wondered how my friends get girls over these chat rooms, some of them even succeeded getting the girls naked on cam (which was their sole aim) :P. The key factor was the way we sell ourselves to girls in chat rooms. I cannot be that cheesy in my talks. Everything goes too straight forward for me. I gave up. But again some days later I gave a try and it was last week of June then, that day just in my 2nd or 3rd hit I got a reply. The girl was from Mumbai. She asked my age..I told 21, she stopped talking to me saying “I am too old for you”. She was in 30’s. But how does age makes a difference to chat with someone, I asked her. To me things were as simple as that. Well I just asked about her, she replied now. She was a doctor at Mumbai. Had a love marriage, husband mostly out of India for official works, has a daughter studying in 12th or 11th (forgot). I told her about me.
Days passed and not every day but whenever I came on Yahoo we pinged each other, she used to tell me about her love life and all, ask about my plans, what I was doing at Turkey and stuff. I enjoyed talking to her. She had a sense of maturity in her words which attracted me (I love talking to sincere n matured people). A week prior to my departure from Turkey I asked her to meet me at Mumbai (my flight was landing at mumbai). She was even ready to pick me up from airport. We made plans of going to beaches n hanging out. She gave me her number. I was excited to meet her. Such kind of chat friend n all I never liked, but my case was different I guess.

So 30th July 2010 it was. I landed, I lied to some of my school and college friends that my flight would be landing at evening so I would meet them at 30th night :P, just because I was feeling awkward telling them about my new Senior Citizen friend ;)

Well so I met her..... She came to pick me up by her car near to my hotel. A gentle, matured, smiling face woman. She took me to KFC at Andheri, she kept on asking about my future plans and my college activities. I remember she said “Shanky you are more mature than kids of your age should be”. She really made me very very comfortable. I did not feel the age difference at all, she knew it very well how to manage. She was listening to me as a college friend, simplicity on her face. Before meeting her I was thinking "Am I doing anything wrong meeting a chat friend?"..because if I place any of my friends at my place and rethink..I would consider it a stupidity to meet such a person, especially if my friend was a girl. But I had an idea of which type of a girl/woman I am going to meet and more over I or we dint have any physical intention behind meeting (hopefully ;)). And just in some time after meeting her, I was proud of my decision and once again my intuitions were correct. I almost asked her nothing, I was noticing her and she was superb.
She loves reading novels, we then went to Cross Word but did not buy anything. Now we kept on roaming and she took me to Lifestyle, she asked me to choose some shirts, I chose two and she gifted them to me. I asked her not to but she said “Shanky take it and I would tell you why am I gifting it to you”. I accepted.

It was time to leave. She said “Shanky you know, I did love marriage and after that I am bit cut-off from my family, I always wished to gift someone and make him/her happy but never got a chance, I am really happy to gift you something today.” She was almost sentimental by this time. Listening to it even I was happy to make her happy. Just a moment later we bid good bye to each other leaving an everlasting impression and few sweet memories in our hearts.

Its almost an year now but we regularly send SMS to each other, care for each other. What I noticed in her is the way she understands me being a teenager, she knows the way I think, she predicts my mood very well, she gives me advices, she showers love and warmth, she has an amazing understanding. Once out of excitement she offered me to be her Son-in-Law (hehee). I feel blessed to have such a person in my life. She is a perfect wife, perfect mother, a sincere doctor, a caring friend, got everything to be a perfect girlfriend. With her I live a different life and perhaps she knows a different "Shankaransh" which is hidden from this world, she knows the actual "ME". I really wish I could meet her at least once in a month. She soothes my mind like anything. And by the way friends her name is Dr. Smriti.

Thank you God...Thank you Smriti (yeah I call her by her name).

Radhey Radhey Nights to Marijuana Wings-flying abyss!!

Before I start this phase of writing I would like to say one thing to my friends- Doing only good things doesn’t make your life good or you a good person.
Everyone says that final year is just to chill and enjoy. Last 3 years of my college life I had utilized learning by doing. I was done with GRE,TOEFL, applications, Job (a forced attempts by my parents and friends). I wanted to enjoy joblessly now.

29th January,2011, I called up all my friends to my room for my JSPL treat. There were some 25 smokers that day. Some 5-6 times before the party started Upa asked me “Shanky how many people are coming?” That day we started at 10pm with 25 people in a single seater room..partying hard. After a while when everyone was HIGH...Manas and Hardik played a song on my lappy. The song was new to almost all of us. People were smoking...song was playing...some people left...but song was playing..Naman made GRAVITY..still the song was playing. Some 15 minutes later I realized that my room is under Red lights..Laptop at the centre and everyone around it clapping in a very holy way.

The song was “Radhey Radhey”..it was a 44 minutes track, people were so involved in that song that they forget where they actually were and their(including mine) imaginations took them to god’s place. All thanks to Manas and Hardik who played this almighty song and made Room-322 Hall-4 a Holy Place.

We all were in our own depths....people kept departing and at last just 3 of us left- Me, Niru and Upa. The depth of talks we had that day won’t come ever again. That session of 29th and 30th Jan we named as GGP!!
Days passed partying harder and came 8th Feb when I got my Admit info from Michigan Tech. The AIM of my college life was done. I was totally relaxed. Day by day the direction of my thinking was changing...I was moving away from the materialistic things and I was enjoying it. To some people I was being unsocial and addicted.
I was never addicted I knew..I was confident on that. I don’t know when but there came a time when I started partying with Swarup Sutar and gradually there were only me and him smoking at his room.

Our thinking level matched nearly perfectly. We had previously worked together in “Boond”. One day we decided to make some songs with our present state of thinking....our thoughts took more depth every next day...we ended up writing some 7-8 songs and composed 2 of them finally. To these compositions we gave the name- “Marijuana Wings-flying abyss”. Now we are on our way to make it professional and open a company “Dream Processors Productions Pvt Ltd”...soon you will find us live in action!!

I spent some very memorable and learning moments with Nirupam, Khera, Upa, Bala, Kussy, Swarup, Bappa Da, Andij, Animesh, Eshan, Rudro, Debayan, Souptik, Sudipto, Rajan, Adhiep and loads fun moments with everyone I smoked with ;)

I met so many new faces partying this way, got to know how much people love me, confronted with different perspectives of different people, made a lot of friends- are all these things wrong? Now the thing is I did not waste my time doing nothing, smoking weed I could attain a different state of mind which I used constructively to drive my passion of making songs. People question- “Why do you smoke weed?” The answer is- “I want to do bad things in a constructive manner” and inspire people. I want to be Jack of All Trades, I want to be little bad to know the importance of good things. I have got so many lifetime memories with my friends partying with.

My fundamental says- First be the person you want to become then enjoy your life trying stuffs you should not. Well i think there shouldn’t be anything left in life to do for which you regret later. I have my own style of enjoying life and I AM PROUD OF IT because at this time I can prove my worth in the market. You do any damn thing but if your intensions and aim are defined then nothing is wrong. This was all about my happy and cheerful journey from “Radhey Radhey Nights to Marijuana Wings-flying abyss”.

I want to say sorry to some of my friends who were always so worried about this part of my life- Watti, Deepak, Priyanka, Deboleena, Madhyama, Supriya, Shreeja, Anchal. I would just say..love me for what I have done to make you all proud but don’t hate me for the things I have done which have hurt you. For me nothing was wrong...I LOVE MY LIFE and MY FRIENDS ARE MY LIFE. God Bless!!

SomeTHING AIMLESS

Well this blog post is something I always wanted to post...but dint..or couldn't or shouldn't...I don't know what.. :O

But here I am with some of my very personal public perceptions- I have been always bad at maintaining individuality..that I confess. I have always tried to see and judge people with my own angle. I remember when I was in class 10th, one night I was sitting and counting the number of "close" friends I had at that time and I stopped doing so when the count was approaching 100. Sometime near to that my dad said "Son your mark-sheets are degrading rapidly, please shorten your friend circle" and I ended with a quality 6 friends- Bhaskar, Avnish, Ashwini, Gaurav, Kumar Karan and Ankur. From then I was totally inspired by those six to lead a life out of league (though being in the crowd- yeah that's important) and constantly I am "trying" to stand up to their inspiration.

The last 7 years have confronted me with some people who are neither out of league nor among the crowd. This blog is about those few people. My attitude is..if you can answer "What is the aim of your life?" then you are worth a human, a human who can be my friend else I hardly bother. By AIM I don't mean what is the sole thing you want to do or become; I mean whats next you want to achieve or rigidly try for. There are people who are not so very clear with their "aim" but have some "purpose of life"- yeah and that is also cool.

I have some college and school friends who do not have any AIM..not even a Purpose of life. I can't understand how such people enjoy LIFE- a life without hurdles, a life where you have no reason to be happy for winning and no reason to be sad for loosing, a life which has no reason for what you are doing and no reason for what you are not doing, a life in which you do not commit any mistake, a life which has nothing to give to others..not even to your parents, a life from which you cannot learn anything, a life without a plan, a life which has no LIFE. Such people rise up, eat, roam, chat, gossip, sleep and the cycle continues. I really want to know what goes on in such people's mind...and I tell you whenever I think about it I get highly irritated.

Some examples I want to state-
* Kumar Karan (my school mate) used to make the worst guy in the class his best friend and now he is an IITian.
* Shushant Patta (a college friend) got year back but he is best at practical stuffs and in many technical fests he has proved himself against the so called toppers of the institute.
* Debayan Ganguly (another college mate) has got 10 or 11 supplies/backs still made it to TATA MOTORS as I.C. Engines was his only "academic" love.

Hats of to such fellows who have given a tight slap on those faces who have always criticized them for their failure but could never realize what are such people's AIM or simply the Purpose of LIFE.

Guys get up- have some AIM..have some purpose of life. Try to enjoy life with some reason. Try to achieve something in life....even loosing something in life would make a sense. If not for others..not even your parents..try to do it for yourself...be Selfish..even that would be worth. Don't let LIFE go, don't let people call you "SomeTHING AIMLESS".....

Expectations!!

For the 1st time I was walking,
My hand into my dad’s,
He left and I fell,
He expected me to stand myself…
Expectations from an infant!!

Mathematics wasn’t my cup of tea,
I could hardly score a 60 of 100,
They scolded, they slapped me several times,
They expected a 90 of 100
Expectations from a school boy!!

I was 16, I felt infatuation,
I walked around her all time,
She complained to the Principal,
I still expected her to talk to me once,
Expectations of an immature lover!!

I was 18, to be college going,
I worked hard, I was good,
I could not make it to the end,
I expected to join IIT,
Expectations of a teenager!!

I thought I was mature,
Took a chance and again gave my time to her,
Now she enjoyed my company, but I was confused,
I expected her to make me happy too,
Expectations of a young adult!!

I was fond of extra co-curricular activities,
I was enjoying them at college
But it was a time waste to my dad,
He expected me to just score well,
Expectations from a college boy!!

Now I want to study more,
I want to do more, something out of league,
I hate to be simply an engineer,
But mom expects me to do a job
Expectations from a son!!

People around induced in me a thing
They induced something that suffocates me
They have induced in me the repellent of happiness
They have induced in me Expectation
Expectations of ME with MYSELF!!

From school to college- Expectations,
From friends to family- Expectations,
From enemy to a Lover- Expectations,
From academics to my passion- Expectations,
In fact my birth was an expectation, they wanted a Boy!!

The Sem that WAS

Turkey to Dubai to India- that’s how my journey for the last year of my college life began. On 4^th Aug 2010, nearly 20 days after reopening of my college, I joined my friends at college. I arrived my hostel at 2 am… Nirupam and Rishikesh were there to escort me. Aaah..that was what I was waiting for- my friends. New hostel, new room, the same 3 year old friends, our rounds of laughter and Turkish Cigara made my first night of my last year in college. That very morning Nirupam woke me up saying “bhai Tata Motors aayi hai placement k liye, lets go and give the written exam”, I was so very uninterested but my friends pulled my for it. I cleared the written test, I don’t know how. I was very sure of clearing the GD round, I called my dad and told him the situation, to my surprise he dint want TATA rather a PSU and asked me to drop out. I sat for GD, dint say a word but at the end I was asked by the panel to summarize the GD and again to my surprise I was selected saying those few lines for the final interview. All others were so happy; on the other hand I was damn scared of being selected. I gave my interview, after sometime Adhiep (our TPR) came to me and said “Bhai your name is in the selected candidates list probably”. It was all my parent’s wish to drop and I had to do it, I knew I was losing a big deal but cudnt help it. I went inside the Panel’s chamber and requested to knock me out of the list, finally relieved. AND THE BAD LUCK STARTS……

September was scheduled for my GRE exam, BAD LUCK knocked and I met an incident cum accident cum fight cum ditches cum back stabbing on September 2^nd. I shifted my exam date to 1^st October but just spoiled it all. I was still not in favor of doing a job and wanted to study further but hardly any hopes left. I attended many parties for my friends being placed, boozing kinda became a habit. But unlike some idiots I never felt jealous for my friends being placed and me standing short unplaced. Placements are always a matter of proud for a institute and my friends made NIT Dgp proud. Almost all the branches are done with 85% placements. I am happy, not for me but for my friends and my college.

This semester nothing was going right. Neither acads, nor extra- curricular works nor internal and external affairs nor public and private relations. I was totally stuck in NOTHING this semester. Every time my basic rule flashed ifo my eyes “Whatever happens, happens for something good”….I was finding something good, one positive aspect in this negative arena…yeah I was finding but I did not know someone is keeping a watch on me- BAD LUCK: I got caught using mobile phone during my 7^th semester exams and I am given a supplementary in that paper with my mobile phone (actually my friend’s mobile) still hanging with the academic section. I am frustrated….nothing is smooth except Boozing and Weed :P

It seems everything I earned in past 3 years at NITD is running away from me- the zest, the life, the relations, the pride and that little name and fame.

But I thought- Guru itna sochne ki kya zarurat hai…Jo hona hai wo hoga isliye jo ho rha hai usko hone do, log jaa rhe hain unko jane do kyuki jane wale ko koi ni rok sakta, jo tumpe hans rha hai unhe hansne do kyuki ye unki sehat k liye achha hai, log dhoka de rhe hain dene do kyuki dhoka dena unka kaam hai aur samhlna tumhara kaam.

Lastly the words of my darling Supriya rang in my ears-“jo insan achha hota hai uske sath kabhi bura ni ho sakta”. I said to myself “beta shanky rone ki koi zarurat nahi hai, agar kuch achha ni ho rha hai to bura bhi nahi hoga, tum bas geet gungunate chalo aur apni raah banate chalo kyuki JEENA ISI KA NAAM HAI”!!!!

Long Known yet UNKNOWN FACES

1st Sept,2010 @1pm- Sandeep Ranjan Bhowal got placed at TELCON, Party time \m/, 3 pm boozing started and few hours later everyone of us was resting in peace. World seemed so small yet so complicated, faces behind faces and the race to win..I dont know what all was running through my mind without a single thought of what time is going to show next. I was enjoying my unusual dreams.
It was 7 pm now, I was still hang on my bed when my cellphone rang, it was Nirupam.."Bhai jaldi sabko leke Hall-2 aja panga ho gya hai, 3rd year ne Final year ko maar diya hai" and that was enough to wake me up. We ran, I was 60% concious and 160% charged. I dint know anything else than what Nirupam briefed. We reached and saw lots of Final years already engaged in the camouflage. I found many angry and many confused faces like me over there. Hundreds of people and thousands of talks. Just then I heard from some one that our Subhashish and Subhash have been hit by some Bihari 3rd year guys...and these words couldn't stop me from being red hot. I was just wondering how could some Final years come in protection of those 3rd year people and there I saw some Long known yet UNKNOWN FACES. 
Our Profs came meanwhile, everyone who were shouting a few minutes back for our guys, took a back stand and here again I saw some Long known yet UNKNOWN FACES. The fear of others being noticed  left our cute innocent Nepali guys alone. I cudnt be that coward and I spoke out loud for my friends, was a bit unconciuos but still was very much manageable, and then I became the talk of the night- "Sala hero banne gaya tha,chup nahi reh sakta tha", "Kya zarurat thi usko beech me itna uchalne ki" etc etc and for the third time I saw some nude Long known yet UNKNOWN FACES.

2nd Sept @7:30pm- Myself, deepak and rishikesh were returning back to our hostel from Techno, in front of Hall-5 we heard someone passing sarcastic comments on us, they were the Bihari Final year guys, they were on fire :P. They entered in our mess and made evrything messy pointing out my fallacies the night before in the conversation with our Dean advocating against those 3rd year Bihari guys. I found some 100 people negotiating the talks with those handfull insane Bihari guys. WTF!! Wasnt that being coward?? Jab unhone Mess me ghuste hi Negotiations ki maa behen kar di to tum log kyu Gandhi ji k bhakt bann rhe the. And GOD uncovered some more Long known yet UNKNOWN FACES.
"Vinash kale vipreet budhhi" I can never sacrifise with my self respect and ego...yeah EGO!!
The team of MEN were ready for the attack. We marched towards Hall 5 now, this time we were on fire, they saw us coming and ran here and there but some couldn't escape. Just in a glimpse of time Iron man played his game. Still no probs, they were buried in our fire the next moment.
I dont know about the culprits but yeah I was bit ashamed of this incident. I was shattered when I saw the reaction of some very (so thought) CLOSE FRIENDS. I could not figure out where I was wrong..
#Advocating for something right was wrong?
#After being stuck alone between a crowd of 10 BUTCHERS in the Mess, fighting for your self respect was wrong?
The week ahead: I noticed some people stopped talking to me , I saw some close friends making fun of me, I heard people criticising me more than those Bihari people, I felt being treated as the REAL CULPRIT, I found people posting so gently over this issue on FB....thanks to this incidence that I could learn another REALITY OF LIFE, the reality of many Long known yet UNKNOWN FACES.

Janta's thoughts for me:
#Agar koi tumhe gali de rha ho and palat k tum bhi use gali de do to fir tumhare aur usme fark hi kya reh gya.
#Koi ek gaal pe maare to duusra gaal bhi aage kar do.
# If they were insane, you could have taken some intelligent decision instead of being insane too.

I would say one thing- Dost AC chambers me baith k koi bhi calm reh sakta hai aur intelligent decisions le sakta hai...lekin jab soldiers border pe hote hain to everything is INSTANTANEOUS. Bina field me kadam rakhhe you cannot predict a soldier's state of mind and his emotions. Match khatm hone k baad players ki galtiyan nikalna bahut aasan hai mere dost......Ground pe utar k dekho kabhi....GULLI NA UKHAD GAYI TUMHARI to dekhna.. :P

I may be wrong in my views lekin tum log bhi sahi nahi the dost. Baat zara dil pe lag gayi hai lekin koi ni jo hota hai achhe k liye hi hota hai....
Love you all :)

The Indian Hindustan

I was never a good History student, Indian history was never my stuff. But the questions about Indian culture,Indian religion,Indian ethics in this foreign land (Turkey) has forced me to know about it, to know about the reason behind the condition of India- MY INDIA..my country!!

We are not developed yet, we have many poor people in our country,people use their hands while eating which is not much hygienic, women are still fighting somewhere for their status, rural areas does not have power,proper education etc etc..
The only word which has compelled me to write this blog post is "WHY??"..why is it all like that.

As pointed out by Madhyama (one of my very darling and sincere readers)..I was pointing out a negative aspect of India which could hamper the image of my country...but I proudly stick to what we are. Now am I proud of all the bad points I mentioned about Indians in my previous post "The Turkish Hindistan"?? No, I am proud of the changes we Indians have brought since our independence.

Friends (especially my Non-Indian buddies)lets take a look over Indian History-
*RULING POWER-Britishers ruled India for 89 years from 1858 to 1947. And in this period India experienced some of the worst famines ever recorded.
*INDEPENDENCE- India was independent in 1947 but along the desire of independence, tensions between Hindu and Muslims had also been developing over the years. Following the controversial division of pre-partition Punjab and Bengal, rioting broke out between Sikhs,Muslims and Hindus in these provinces which spread to several other parts of India.

Unlike many nations (like Turkey) we had been slaved for years and years, seeds of religious discrimination were sought in us during the British Raj,British killed the Indian artisan, they created the Indian landless laborer, they exported our full employment and they invented our poverty,a significant fact which stands out is that those parts of India which have been longest under British rule are the poorest today. They divided and ruled!

RELIGIOUS CULTURE- India is a religious country because again in history we were under Vedic period for 1000 BCE. Religion plays a major role in the Indian way of life. Rituals, worship, and other religious activities are very prominent in an individual's daily life; it is also a principal organiser of social life. The degree of religiosity varies among individuals; in recent decades, religious orthodoxy and observances have become less common in Indian society, particularly among young urban-dwellers.

DIET- Dietary habits are significantly influenced by religion. Almost one-third of Indians practise vegetarianism; it came to prominence during the rule of Ashoka, a promoter of Buddhism.

POLITICS-Religious ideology, particularly that expressed by the Hindutva movement, has strongly influenced Indian politics in the last quarter of the 20th century. Many of the elements underlying India's casteism and communalism originated during the rule of the British Raj.Communal conflicts have periodically plagued India since it became independent in 1947. The roots of such strife lie largely in the underlying tensions between sections of its majority Hindu and minority Muslim communities, which emerged under the Raj and during the bloody Partition of India. Such conflict also stems from the competing ideologies of Hindu nationalism versus Islamic fundamentalism and Islamism.

WOMEN-medieval period when Sati, child marriages and a ban on widow remarriages became part of social life in India. The Muslim conquest in the Indian subcontinent brought the purdah practice in the Indian society. Among the Rajputs of Rajasthan, the Jauhar was practised. In some parts of India, the Devadasis or the temple women were sexually exploited.

JUST ONE QUESTION to the Non-Indians who compare India with other developed nations and return a inferior look to us- WAS YOUR COUNTRY's HISTORY LIKE THIS?
No friends it wasn't. Time was the factor, you all got more time to progress in every field than us. You got may be 50 more years than us.
"INDIAN HISTORY" is the root cause.

But time has changed we all (countries) are friends now. By each others support we all are progressing. No one can be self sufficient, we are walking hands in hands and Inshaallah we all will raise to apex one day!!

The PRESENT SCENARIO- As the time is heading India is setting liberal towards religious beliefs(actually some are tough to follow), women have already got a status equal to men except in villages due to illiteracy, we are technologically sound now, we have a strong educational system whose roots are spreading to villages very fast, we have 2 Indians in the top 5 richest person of the world, we have one of the seven wonders of the world, Indians constitute 36% of the Scientist team of NASA,U.S.A., we have industries of nearly all domains, Government is making the citizens aware of dangers of increasing population, we are carrying great research works for Green Peace.

We are in a phase of Renovating INDIA.

I am proud to belong to a country which has richest religion aspects, which has the maximum number of languages, which had a women Prime Minister for an aggregate period of fifteen years and thats the world's longest serving woman Prime Minister, which has the fourth largest economy, which has one of the seven wonders of the world, where we live with our parents even when we become parents, which has love in its soil.....I belong to INDIA..the INCREDIBLE INDIA!!!!!

We have the confidence we will make INDIA soon to a developed nation where all people will be employed in jobs, which will be cleaner, where people will be more hygienic, where politicians will not be playing with people's religious emotions, where people will be aware that religious grounds are not important for a country's growth, where people will love each other with more affection where the unaffected Indian Culture will be a role model for the world.

God bless my INDIA.. :)