What did I do? The Initiative

Finally after completing my Masters I got a chance to see around and observe how my society looks like. Its not that I did not care about my society earlier, its just that I was waiting for the right time when I would be able to contribute to my society with dedication. I read an article sometime during my bachelor's which said "We provide funds to IITs, NITs and other government colleges so that these sharp minds can develop their skills without spending much and later SERVE THE SOCIETY", I don't remember who wrote that article and today I won't criticize our education system. The fact lies here- The amount I spent in four years of my engineering is almost equal to the amount one spends in a year in a private college. So someone paid for my education, someone invested in me- WHO? (I don't care) but WHY (yes WHY?), I asked myself this question and the lines from that article stuck my mind. It might sound filmy or funny but it is what it is, that's how I felt and that's what I thought.

India has the second largest population in the world and the kind of history my country is associated with, I cannot refrain myself from the fact that there would be problems. Many problems have been solved but plenty of them exists even after more than 60 years of independence. Yeah sure you will now blame the government for it but someone might blame you for choosing that government and that would end up in a never ending BLAME GAME.

I will just quote a small personal experience. Last month I was on Skype with my parents and I saw a young girl (probably 12-13 years old) sweeping the floor of my house who incidentally walked in front of the webcam. I asked my Mom "Who is she?". She replied that the young girl works in the colony and cleans everyone's house. I was curious and I asked the girl "How are you working during the day time? Don't you have to go to your school? Do you even study?", and the girl wasn't expecting this question. She was stuck with silence while my Mom spoke "She studied till class 8th and now she works to earn some income for herself and her family". I thought- Really Mom!! Is that the reason you would give me. I know it was true but I felt disgusted by my Mom saying that without even thinking that she is entertaining child labor. I know she is educated enough to realize that it is wrong but I felt my Mom conveyed the helplessness of that girl. But wait, who is helpless here? My mom? NO! Rather she has a feeling that she is doing good by letting the poor girl work and earn some money. I know money is important but still my Mom was wrong. Being a educated citizen she should not have entertained child labor at the first place. This is what I concluded. What my Mom is doing and several such families do is a CRIMINAL OFFENSE which is not judged by "helplessness".

But who is wrong here? The girl's family is poor, they cannot afford the girl's education and they need money ( yes you might call them helpless here) plus they are not educated enough (or aware enough) to THINK that their child deserves a way better future. I am a kind of person who thinks "What did I do?" and in this case as my parents were the subject, I had a question "What did my parents do?"

Now just keeping that question in my mind, I was reminded of a very similar example. One of my college's senior (Harsh Vardhan Singh), who once made a short movie which was selected in the Cannes Film Festival, used some of the uneducated/poor/underprivileged kids (who belonged to a village/community called "Bihari More" near NIT Durgapur's campus) for his movie. After returning from the Cannes Film Festival in France, he felt guilty of using these kids for his movie. He asked himself "What can I do?" and now he runs a group called BMEP (Bihari More Education Project) through which these poor kids are being educated. BMEP is not any organization or NGO or something, it was just an INITIATIVE of Harsh bhai and his friends and all the volunteers of BMEP (who teach these kids) are students of NIT Durgapur. The novel concept of BMEP was appreciated and encouraged by everyone associated with NIT Durgapur. Now the Alumnus of our college raise funds to provide books+bags+shoes etc to these kids, our college has given the permission to use the classrooms to teach these kids, good students among these kids are being admitted to good schools. A lot of good things are happening through BMEP, and everyone involved (especially the volunteers who are undergraduates and devote their time to teach these kids) is so selfless (NOT HELPLESS).

Now coming back to the girl's scenario working at my home back in India, are my parents really helpless to let that girl sweep my house and do nothing about it? NO, my parents simply did not take any initiative. But what initiatives I am talking about?
1. My parents could approach a school in the locality and ask for her admission. Some schools do have provision of lower fee/no fee for such kids.
2. My parents could have contributed an hour everyday to teach the girl.
3. If money was a hurdle in her education, my parents could have supported her education. (We can spend lakhs of Rupees on jewelery, food, clothes etc but we cannot spend Rs.500 or Rs. 1000 per month to support a child's education. That does not make any sense to me. Not at all).
4. Her parents could be educated/ made aware of the fact that child labor is illegal or in worst case could have been forced to stop it.
5. My parents could have simply thought that this girl also deserves as good a education as they have given to their own daughter.

To bring any change in India is very demotivating because very few would support you. And trust me at times the most difficult things becomes convincing your own parents. "Arrey beta kaha inn chakkaro me padd rhe ho". People plan to save money for next two months to buy a watch/ go on a tour or spend in one form or the other on themselves. I too have such plans for my saving but I have also planned to save for the education of that girl and she will start going to school from the next session :)

By no means I am concentrating on government policies for poor kids or NGOs or anything. By all means my question remains "What did I do?" "What did you do?" and the answer is "Look what BMEP is doing". I am not aware of the scenario of India as a whole, I only see things and people around me, I only see problems and solutions around me, I only learn from my experiences and from people around me. And so I try to do what I am supposed to do rather than bitching about the government or any third party.

The story of the girl I shared applies to so many kids in India and the story of my Mom applies to almost all of us ( the so called educated class of society, the "above average" income families but excluding people like BMEP volunteers). Things does not seem real until you do it, until you TAKE THE INITIATIVE. And things look so simple just after you take the initiative and you feel so good from within. Trust me on that!

I recently started my initiative called "Happy living, Healthy living" for the BMEP kids through which they would be taught the benefits of sanitation and how health creates wealth. I have never been so excited and never felt such satisfaction from within. And let me tell you THE ONLY TOUGH TASK OF MY INITIATIVE WAS TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE.

So the point is, there is solution to every problem but the problem of not finding the solution lies in not taking the initiative. Why can't everyone be his/her own government? Why can't I and you make our own 5 year policies? Why can't we allocate a portion of our funds for the betterment of our society? Why can't I simply try to stop/oppose if something is illegal? Why can't I educate/spread awareness among the people I meet in my day to day life? Why do I just see things happening? Why am I so helpless? DARE TO ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS!!

I support each one teach one. And why not? If I earn Rs. 30,000.00 a month, cant I spend Rs.1000.00 a month on a child's education? If you cannot, then just give me a breakup of where you are spending these Rs.30,000 a month. Ohh well who am I? Why would you share the breakup of your expenses with me? Why would you send Rs.1000.00 on someone you don't know? After all you earned every bit of that money through your hard work and by all means you deserve to spend it on yourself. Isn't it. If your answer is YES then sorry this post was not meant for you and sorry to waste your valuable time. Go and do Facebook my friend, you don't belong here.

Thank you for reading :)

The DEADWEIGHT LOSS !!

It is all because of my interest in Economics and the awesome professors at Michigan Tech that I understood a big aspect of a human being's life. Economics is not all about efficient money management, it taught me benefit-loss analysis related to one's personal life.

DEADWEIGHT LOSS- In my language Deadweight Loss refers to a loss to a person and the society which cannot be recovered.

In personal life deadweight loss is when you miss your change of doing something which has its maximum value at a particular time. Some things if done at the right time gives you the ultimate satisfaction, once that time has gone then doing the same thing would never satisfy you as much as doing it at the right time.

I have made enough deadweight losses. When I was a kid I always wanted to participate in my school's extra co-curricular activities but I never got permission from my parents as all they wanted was me to study and get good marks. I was in 10th grade and my school arranged for a trip to DPS R.K. Puram during the summer vacations. All my close friends were going on the trip to DPS R.K. Puram and my parents asked me to join a coaching institute for IIT-JEE preparations. The cost of the trip was some Rs.6000/- and may be this was the reason that my parents did not want me to go. I don't know what but all I know is... that was a trip I missed, I was sad and my parents knew it. I had no answer to the question of my friends that why I was not going on the trip. My friends had crazy fun, they came back with lots of cherishing memories and on the other hand I had a deadweight loss. There were little things like spending no money on clothes, on my birthday parties etc that kept adding to my deadweight losses. There are only little things which make you the happiest person in the world when you are a kid. When I was in 12th grade, a friend of mine asked me about the places I have visited...any hill station or any family trip. I had no answer because every summer my family used to visit either at my grand parent's place or I was attending some coaching institute. My dad's friends used to take their family on vacations but that never influenced him for any good.

There were few things which I never knew existed. May it be some popular food joint, brand of clothes, about cars, shopping malls, places, mobile phones etc because I never experienced it. Till 12th grade I had never been to any shopping mall, no Mc Donalds, no KFC..no family vacations..nothing.

I know these things are not a necessity of a human being and there are many kids who even do not have food to eat, but looking back I can see that my family could have afforded all these little not so very expensive things and the list of my deadweight losses could have been quite small. There is no point regretting but things could have been way better.

2007, I left home and was staying in my college's hostel. Life was fun, I had money and there was no one to restrict me from doing anything. I fulfilled my urge to participate in extra co-curricular activities. By the end of my college life I had done it all.... cultural fests, technical fests, Radio shows, acting, street plays...I did everything possible. There is still one thing to note. Because of the way I was brought up since childhood, there were things which were hard for me to even imagine when I grew up, like spending money on good clothes, going out on a trip with friends, clubbing, partying and all those things that you crave for when you are a teenager. I had money but my mind never allowed me to spend money on LIVING GOOD because that is how my mind was shaped and I could not get over it. If someone ask me today to go on a trip to GOA...I would say it would not be as much fun as compared to a GOA trip taken when I was in college. College days were the best time to go to Goa and have fun with friends. Those days are gone. That peak fun I would never be able to achieve again. The fun which a lot of my friends had. That was the perfect time.

Many of my college friends went to Darjeeling, a beautiful hill station near my college. I never had courage to ask my parents some money to make a trip there, because I knew mostly they would say no because for them all that mattered was me doing good academically, rest was waste of money and time. I still want to visit Darjeeling but I would not have the same craze of visiting that place. I have added my trip to Darjeeling to my deadweight loss list.

One interesting thing, during college days I had lots of money. My dad never said no to whatever amount of money I asked from him. But eventually for me buying good clothes, eating at good places, partying, were things which people with money could do. I never realized I could have had the same fun spending money on good living than on cheap booze and OTHER STUFFS.

When you are in a professional world you would never have the same craze of wearing a fancy outfit, going out with friends on a vacation, buying a new phone, buying a pair of shoes or buying an expensive watch. Because the essence of doing things is doing it at the right time.

Now when I have realized this aspect of life, I have never missed a chance to live good, I have never missed a chance to minimize my deadweight losses. may it be making trip with my friends to New York, California, Washington D.C. or buying watches, shoes, car or doing bungee jumping, late night parties....I am experiencing it all. In next three years I will visit all the states in United States, I will go on a Euro trip, I will visit Canada, I will buy some more sexy watches, lots of shoes, clothes and a good camera. I WILL.

I MAY BE LOW ON MONEY BUT I AM HIGH ON LIFE...A SURE THING!!

And yes I am inspired to minimize my deadweight losses through my friends. I look at my friend Anurag Dwivedi and I find him going on camping and hiking trips with his friends...exploring places in India and capturing everything in his camera. I am sure life will not be as much fun for him doing the same stuff sometime later in his life. A lot of my friends live life for the moment and thats how life should be. Enjoy life but do not take it easy and do not make it easy by going with the flow.

Have an aim, fight to achieve it, minimize your deadweight losses, do things at the RIGHT TIME and you will be so much satisfied with your life. Money might be the problem but remember time is a bigger problem any day. This is what I have learned from my friends and through my own experiences.

Things happen for good. The good thing here is I am doing it right now and at the right time. If you could connect your story with mine (which I guess most of you would) then please do not add anymore deadweight loss to your life my friend. If you want something today, it won't please you much tomorrow.

MONEY CAN BUY TIME....just think over it.
Love you all! Thanks for reading :)

Some strange friends

Sometimes its so strange to talk to strangers, especially when you are on a different land with different people of different culture, different living habits and may be different thinking.

31st July I left India for the U.S. after my summer holidays were over. I moved over to Duluth, Minnesota, for my 4 months long internship. I had a fear....What will I do in Duluth without my friends?

In Duluth I shared a 2 BHK house with a girl named Melissa. I was almost confined to my room the first day, she was good enough to ask me for dinner but I said "I would cook something on my own, thanks anyways for asking". Well there was a thing to notice which I did not notice until she told me that her friend, Amy, was there at the house when I reached Duluth. Well the thing to notice was that, Amy was there with a purpose. The very second day Melissa told me that one of her friends was scammed by an Indian guy for a fake cheque which the guy gave for buying her friend's car. After this incident, Melissa had a negative impression of Indians and so did her friends and family. Amy was there to protect Melissa just in case if I was too a scammer.  To my surprise, before I reached Duluth, Melissa did also inquire about me with the company I got my internship at. Again it was really nice on her part to tell me this on her own. As days passed by, she could understand that not all Indians are scammers. We built a good friendship in just couple of weeks; whenever she was free..she used to take me around Duluth. After knowing my last year's passive experiences in the U.S. she wanted me to do "One new thing everyday", yeah that became a rule for me, each day I had to do something which I had never done before, may it be visiting some new place, eating new food, involving in a new sport or just anything. It was fun. I became friends with a lot of her friends. Later she also became my English grammar teacher :P

Two weeks later, one of Melissa's friend cum co-worker, Frank, came to live with us in the house. Frank's house and every little thing that he owned was damaged in the flood last month. I found Frank to be very quite for the first few days. Later I got to know of all he lost in flood, about his divorce, death of his dog who was with him for last 10 years and death of his very good friend recently. Man, he had seen a lot in last few months. He had our sympathy but the best part was that he knew how to tackle such situations in life, he was strong, atleast stronger than me.

Gradually me, Melissa and Frank started spending more time together at home and outside, we three became really good friends. Then one day I got a message from Melissa asking if I could call her asap, I was working in office but I gave her a call and she was crying on phone. That morning as she walked in the store where she used to work, she was fired for NO REASON. She felt like she was in middle of no where; some days later Frank figured out that it was the store owner's daughter who did not like Melissa for her happy and jolly nature and pulled her out of the job. But before we could know the reason, Melissa was all set to leave Duluth, she was all set to leave me and Frank.

Living with Melissa, I learned how to stay young and active, how we could experiment something new everyday and make life exciting, how to stay healthy and how to make friends. She was 28, mature enough to guide me while I am 23. It was her because of whom I made so many friends in Duluth, almost everyone at her work place knew me, she had taken me to her parent's house which probably is the most soothing place I have ever visited. But I was happy that she was moving ahead in life after this shocking experience, she got a new job. She left, I thought I would have no friends except for Frank. I was sad.

Just few days after she left, my interaction with Frank grew more. I learned about whole lot of friends he had in Duluth and as he says "There is no place I could go unnoticed in Duluth" and really every time we both hung outside together, atleast one of his friends crashed into him. Frank was a guy with patience for the most difficult phases of his life but an impatient one for the silliest of things like if someone drives slow in front of his car on road...that would piss him off like anything. Frank was 38 and he knew a lot more about life than I did. He was a history lover but he had knowledge of many different fields, he was geeky. I started going to Lake Ave Cafe with Frank where every Wednesday we used to play board games, I met a lot of new and lovely people there. And then started our series of late night parties. Yes, my last two months of stay at Duluth was full of some crazy parties I have ever been to including one 14 hours long drinking session with Frank, his family and friends. He had crazy friends and crazy family; thats what I loved about the parties. I even cannot count how many friends I made through Frank.

No doubt I had the toughest of my time in Duluth, there were some situations I had never imagined would come to me, there were times when I felt alcohol is the only solution, there were times when I burnt my lungs to death because I had nothing better to do. Whenever I was alone at home, I used to be so impatient, full of negative thoughts. "An empty mind is a devil's workshop"; I screwed my lovely 'personal life' to an extent where things became unrecoverable, I was marked with a permanent dent. There were times when I thought that may be doing this internship was the worst decision I have ever made.

But thanks to Melissa and Frank who have taught me some big lessons in life, it is just because of these two super awesome friends that I think doing my internship was worth an experience. So much you learn when you have friends to tell you of a totally different culture, how people think in their country, about their god, about their religion and its fun when they ask you about your country and culture.

I am back to my college in Michigan but still talking to them seems like the best thing to do. These friends were strange because the culture I belong to, one mostly has a friend circle of his/her age group but thanks to the culture of this country that we do not have an age barrier for making friends.