Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Some strange friends

Sometimes its so strange to talk to strangers, especially when you are on a different land with different people of different culture, different living habits and may be different thinking.

31st July I left India for the U.S. after my summer holidays were over. I moved over to Duluth, Minnesota, for my 4 months long internship. I had a fear....What will I do in Duluth without my friends?

In Duluth I shared a 2 BHK house with a girl named Melissa. I was almost confined to my room the first day, she was good enough to ask me for dinner but I said "I would cook something on my own, thanks anyways for asking". Well there was a thing to notice which I did not notice until she told me that her friend, Amy, was there at the house when I reached Duluth. Well the thing to notice was that, Amy was there with a purpose. The very second day Melissa told me that one of her friends was scammed by an Indian guy for a fake cheque which the guy gave for buying her friend's car. After this incident, Melissa had a negative impression of Indians and so did her friends and family. Amy was there to protect Melissa just in case if I was too a scammer.  To my surprise, before I reached Duluth, Melissa did also inquire about me with the company I got my internship at. Again it was really nice on her part to tell me this on her own. As days passed by, she could understand that not all Indians are scammers. We built a good friendship in just couple of weeks; whenever she was free..she used to take me around Duluth. After knowing my last year's passive experiences in the U.S. she wanted me to do "One new thing everyday", yeah that became a rule for me, each day I had to do something which I had never done before, may it be visiting some new place, eating new food, involving in a new sport or just anything. It was fun. I became friends with a lot of her friends. Later she also became my English grammar teacher :P

Two weeks later, one of Melissa's friend cum co-worker, Frank, came to live with us in the house. Frank's house and every little thing that he owned was damaged in the flood last month. I found Frank to be very quite for the first few days. Later I got to know of all he lost in flood, about his divorce, death of his dog who was with him for last 10 years and death of his very good friend recently. Man, he had seen a lot in last few months. He had our sympathy but the best part was that he knew how to tackle such situations in life, he was strong, atleast stronger than me.

Gradually me, Melissa and Frank started spending more time together at home and outside, we three became really good friends. Then one day I got a message from Melissa asking if I could call her asap, I was working in office but I gave her a call and she was crying on phone. That morning as she walked in the store where she used to work, she was fired for NO REASON. She felt like she was in middle of no where; some days later Frank figured out that it was the store owner's daughter who did not like Melissa for her happy and jolly nature and pulled her out of the job. But before we could know the reason, Melissa was all set to leave Duluth, she was all set to leave me and Frank.

Living with Melissa, I learned how to stay young and active, how we could experiment something new everyday and make life exciting, how to stay healthy and how to make friends. She was 28, mature enough to guide me while I am 23. It was her because of whom I made so many friends in Duluth, almost everyone at her work place knew me, she had taken me to her parent's house which probably is the most soothing place I have ever visited. But I was happy that she was moving ahead in life after this shocking experience, she got a new job. She left, I thought I would have no friends except for Frank. I was sad.

Just few days after she left, my interaction with Frank grew more. I learned about whole lot of friends he had in Duluth and as he says "There is no place I could go unnoticed in Duluth" and really every time we both hung outside together, atleast one of his friends crashed into him. Frank was a guy with patience for the most difficult phases of his life but an impatient one for the silliest of things like if someone drives slow in front of his car on road...that would piss him off like anything. Frank was 38 and he knew a lot more about life than I did. He was a history lover but he had knowledge of many different fields, he was geeky. I started going to Lake Ave Cafe with Frank where every Wednesday we used to play board games, I met a lot of new and lovely people there. And then started our series of late night parties. Yes, my last two months of stay at Duluth was full of some crazy parties I have ever been to including one 14 hours long drinking session with Frank, his family and friends. He had crazy friends and crazy family; thats what I loved about the parties. I even cannot count how many friends I made through Frank.

No doubt I had the toughest of my time in Duluth, there were some situations I had never imagined would come to me, there were times when I felt alcohol is the only solution, there were times when I burnt my lungs to death because I had nothing better to do. Whenever I was alone at home, I used to be so impatient, full of negative thoughts. "An empty mind is a devil's workshop"; I screwed my lovely 'personal life' to an extent where things became unrecoverable, I was marked with a permanent dent. There were times when I thought that may be doing this internship was the worst decision I have ever made.



But thanks to Melissa and Frank who have taught me some big lessons in life, it is just because of these two super awesome friends that I think doing my internship was worth an experience. So much you learn when you have friends to tell you of a totally different culture, how people think in their country, about their god, about their religion and its fun when they ask you about your country and culture.

I am back to my college in Michigan but still talking to them seems like the best thing to do. These friends were strange because the culture I belong to, one mostly has a friend circle of his/her age group but thanks to the culture of this country that we do not have an age barrier for making friends.

Friday, March 09, 2012

Tickets to my Final Destination

This post is dedicated to my Final Destination. When I was leaving India a few months back, people used to say "You wont come back from America, you would settle there". In fact my seniors, my friends who were already in the US said the same. When I was in school, my dad's close friend used to say to me "Son never go to America, my only son went to study there and now he is settled over there only..I rare to even see him". While leaving India, I had these words in my mind and the thought that "I will come back for sure" and with these feelings I left my mom down in tears at New Delhi airport on August 9th, and yes this day was very special..birthday of the best sister in the world who would be showering her blessings and love on me from heaven, her new home.

When I started with my classes here at Michigan Tech, I really loved the way professors taught and the way students attended the lectures. The US education system was undoubtedly better, if not the best. There are few factors I really loved about this country apart from education system. "Equal opportunity employer" yes this is what I found on most of the recruiting websites. They value everyone, may it be an engineer, may it be your cab driver or a plumber, unlike India where we (including me) would not treat an engineer and a plumber with the same respect (with regards to their job profile). Everyone shares the same status, if I would have been a cab driver in India, I would surely have felt some inferiority in front of a company manager or if not then the society would have made me feel so (in general, of coarse there are modest people too). People do not watch out for their expressions in public, now not talking in general but I really become conscious of my expressions in public and behave as if someone is keeping a watch over me all the time. So actually what I felt is these things do induce confidence in you and this is my personal observation/perception that people (aam janta) here are more confident in expressions, words and thoughts than I was back in my country.

Now coming to the main point of this post. Will I return to India? Why or Why not?
# Well just few days back I was in Chicago, enjoying my Spring break. A beautiful city and a good place to be at for a change. I went to a shop with two other friends of mine. The lady at that shop was an Indian (Gujarati), we placed orders with her, she served our burgers and donuts, she did greet us very warmly...a nice lady. When we returned back to our hotel that night I was thinking..'when people go to US from India, we generally think that they might be doing some good job (yeah in India we define a good job and a bad job, which now I feel should not be done) but she has come miles away to serve burgers to customers (which I would have termed a bad job with my previous thinking), why? And I put this question to my friends I had come along with to Chicago.
I really got a very nice reply from my friend, here it is- "First of all no work is big or small, good or bad. Secondly what do you think this lady would have done or how much she would have earned back in India with almost no academic degree in her hand?". I literally agreed to my friend and I was sort of blank for a moment. He continued "Without a good academic profile she would be earning more than some literate in India, so whats bad". And yes that was very true.

# One of my home mate's Uncle and Aunt live here in the US. He went to see them few months back, when he returned he used to tell me about the luxury cars they had, about their lavish house, their lifestyle and everything else. Then he said "My uncle recently retired from his job" to which I replied "Then what is he doing here? Why he does not go back to India and live rest of his life there? Anyways he is done with his job...he must take his family back to the land he belongs to." Then my home mate replied "Do you think after the kind of life he lived here, he would ever wish to go back to India, where possibly never he would have been what he is now, anyways he visits India once or twice every year, why would he sacrifice this lavish life which he earned with his hard work in the US?". I was confused but nodded my head in agreement to his arguments because he was at least not wrong.

Now if I look at my life ahead, with a masters degree in US I will surely earn 3-4 times more than a Masters student would earn in India (again in general). Its clear where does the profit lies. No returning tickets to India then. Isn't it?? And here I would like to pause you for a moment and ask you to think about the word "profit". Yes to me profit is not a salary that pays me more or a lavish life in the US. There is only one thing I find in the US in terms of profit and that is MONEY which can buy almost anything for you these days. For me there are other priorities that bother me more. I cant live all my life serving a company who pays for my labor and makes profit out of me. I consider staying back in the US as purely being selfish, which I would never prefer to be (and yes as I said the word profit has different meaning for different people). I want my final destination to be India.

I do not wish to exactly share my future plans now because I fear if I would really be able to make it or not and the second reason is your priorities in life change and when this reason hits me..I get a flash back  "Son never go to America, my only son went to study there and now he is settled over there only..I rare to even see him".
I have no clue how things will shape up in my life but I do realize what my priorities are and what kind of profits would make me happy, so as of now I can say I will book "Tickets to my Final Destination" finally one day.

Regards
Shankaransh

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

To Be OR Not To Be

As the years are passing by, the world is progressing, some people are growing happy, some more sad, some are growing richer..some poorer, some parts of the world getting peaceful, some more violent, few youth is getting ambitious..some more aimless. Amidst all these I find my country India and the countrymen earning gains in economy, education,health and so many different fields but I look at it with a different angle and as I travel more around the world I get to know my Bharat more and more. I could read what India was, I could see what India is and I wonder what India would be, and then this thought comes to my mind- "To be or not to be"!

Why do we celebrate Diwali? What is the meaning of Rakshabandhan? Why is Cow a holy animal for us? Why do we start everything with name of Lord Ganesha? Why many Indians are vegetarian? Why women put bindi over their head? Why do you have so many languages?....And a lot of other questions that people ask us when we are abroad making me realize how less I know my country, how less I know of my culture, how less I know of Indian traditions, how less I know about our mother.
You must have got an Idea why I have titled this blog "To be or not to be"!

I wonder why are we moving so far from ourselves? The new face of India (we, the youth) is changing the country both in a positive and a negative way. I do agree that we must move on with time, but I don't understand why we need to loose or ignore the aspects that make us unique in this world!

"The principal official language of the Republic of India is Standard Hindi, while English is the secondary official language." says our government. Do we really respect this? I have caught people so many times explaining me stuff in English which they could not convey in Hindi and I guess everyone has noticed this. Haven't you faced a situation when you wonder whats the Hindi of some XYZ word? Don't you think it would have been a better case the other way around. I could find no reason for speaking English to be stamped as something called "modern and growing". Though it is necessary but must not be our priority. Go to any other part of the world and you would find this kind of situation no where. I feel really shameful when our politicians deliver their speech in English inside Lok Sabha, people looking around for Hindi words, some getting rejected in an interview only because he could not convey his knowledge well in English. Anywhere in India you go you would find waiters, shopkeepers everyone speaking in English. Once I asked a girl serving me Pizza at Pizza Hut.."Why do you speak in English, are you ashamed of talking to me in English?", she said "Sir, we are trained to speak in English to give a rich and attractive look to the young generation"..aahhh so very dumb.

I know India has so many spoken languages in different parts of it, but why are me making English a common language to converse? Wouldn't it be better if a Bengali and a Telugu guy conversing in Hindi than English? Why to make English as a common media within our own country itself? We tend to learn new English words but if we try to use some Pure Hindi words at public display..we are tagged "Gawar"! Yes it happens and you CANNOT deny that. Speaking English is NOT at all bad, but what about our treatment to our official language?

The WAR OF STATES is the second thing that surprises me. The moment you say you are from Bihar, Kerela, Tamil Nadu or Uttar Pradesh you loose your impression. Why the hell? I am least bothered about the history of our states, I just wonder the youth fighting war of states, what is there to be proud of belonging to a State of India? Do you own that state? Do you rule that state? Are you the reason for the good/bad economic or social conditions of the state? What makes you proud of belonging to Punjab or Maharashtra or Gujrat? Let me ask "Who are you?"...You are just another resident of that state by the virtue of your family's history for which you have not at all contributed, so please stop taking credit or feeling proud of a history you have not created. Its not a talk about a guy from Uttar Pradesh or a guy from South India, its just about that human being, he may be good or bad, rich or poor, intelligent or dump, caring or cunning but that does not represent his home state, its just him or the people around him (his family background) that defines that person.
 "arrey tumhare state me to aisa hote hai..waisa hota hai, arrey ye mallu sale bahut harami hote hain, ye bihar wale sare k sare gawar hain, ye benagli sab bahut chalak aur kanjus hote hain, Delhi ki ladkiya characterless hoti hain, UP wale to sab bhaiya hote hain"...damn you people, come out of the box, if they are bad..teach them to be good, do something for such people instead of sitting and talking about them, alright. You know what.. this is a darker side of India, if you cannot spread wellness, better mind your own business.

People say "We went to so and so country and had a wonderful intercultural experience", I say just move around India and one would never find a better collection of cultures else where in the world, but do we really enjoy and value this intercultural gift our country has given us? Not much.

Just imagine of a India, where people from other countries are coming, wearing dhoti and saying "that's a modern outfit", a country whose official language becomes Britain's second official language, a country where people work to improve the condition of people of other states, a country where people feel proud to speak Hindi, a country where people say "I am Indian"! All of you of coarse say so but I mean to say an India where people feel "I am an Indian".

When I look at my friends, I get to learn alot, the way they dress, the way they speak, the way they behave at public places, the way they inspire me to think good. But I love being DESI at the end of the day.
People feel so great eating at KFC or Pizza Hut, wearing good foreign brands and all. I look forward to an India which has Indian food chains in the world, people buying Indian brands, listening to Indian bands, watching Indian TV series. We might already have these things but not as much as we are influenced by the Western Countries for these things. We must grow up as India, not a Westernized India that's all I want to say. We do not value what we are, at least not everyone. When I say "We", its the youth including me.

No doubt we are growing bigger and better as a nation, whole world knows that well. But there are a few things I am concerned being a youth, the so called future face of India. I am glad to have friends who think of India and I am also glad to have friends who show me the darker side of youth. We should think universal and above all for our country.

For the very few people who bother to do something for people living in slums, educating illiterates without shouting at the government for not doing anything, spreading Indian art, being from Maharashtra and helping people from Bihar to grow, pushing our traditions to the world, wanting to join politics to do something good for India... Hats off!!!

Please don't try to be someone else, inspire others to be like you. Value yourself, Value India.

Love you all.
Take care readers!