Expectations!!

For the 1st time I was walking,
My hand into my dad’s,
He left and I fell,
He expected me to stand myself…
Expectations from an infant!!

Mathematics wasn’t my cup of tea,
I could hardly score a 60 of 100,
They scolded, they slapped me several times,
They expected a 90 of 100
Expectations from a school boy!!

I was 16, I felt infatuation,
I walked around her all time,
She complained to the Principal,
I still expected her to talk to me once,
Expectations of an immature lover!!

I was 18, to be college going,
I worked hard, I was good,
I could not make it to the end,
I expected to join IIT,
Expectations of a teenager!!

I thought I was mature,
Took a chance and again gave my time to her,
Now she enjoyed my company, but I was confused,
I expected her to make me happy too,
Expectations of a young adult!!

I was fond of extra co-curricular activities,
I was enjoying them at college
But it was a time waste to my dad,
He expected me to just score well,
Expectations from a college boy!!

Now I want to study more,
I want to do more, something out of league,
I hate to be simply an engineer,
But mom expects me to do a job
Expectations from a son!!

People around induced in me a thing
They induced something that suffocates me
They have induced in me the repellent of happiness
They have induced in me Expectation
Expectations of ME with MYSELF!!

From school to college- Expectations,
From friends to family- Expectations,
From enemy to a Lover- Expectations,
From academics to my passion- Expectations,
In fact my birth was an expectation, they wanted a Boy!!

The Sem that WAS

Turkey to Dubai to India- that’s how my journey for the last year of my college life began. On 4^th Aug 2010, nearly 20 days after reopening of my college, I joined my friends at college. I arrived my hostel at 2 am… Nirupam and Rishikesh were there to escort me. Aaah..that was what I was waiting for- my friends. New hostel, new room, the same 3 year old friends, our rounds of laughter and Turkish Cigara made my first night of my last year in college. That very morning Nirupam woke me up saying “bhai Tata Motors aayi hai placement k liye, lets go and give the written exam”, I was so very uninterested but my friends pulled my for it. I cleared the written test, I don’t know how. I was very sure of clearing the GD round, I called my dad and told him the situation, to my surprise he dint want TATA rather a PSU and asked me to drop out. I sat for GD, dint say a word but at the end I was asked by the panel to summarize the GD and again to my surprise I was selected saying those few lines for the final interview. All others were so happy; on the other hand I was damn scared of being selected. I gave my interview, after sometime Adhiep (our TPR) came to me and said “Bhai your name is in the selected candidates list probably”. It was all my parent’s wish to drop and I had to do it, I knew I was losing a big deal but cudnt help it. I went inside the Panel’s chamber and requested to knock me out of the list, finally relieved. AND THE BAD LUCK STARTS……

September was scheduled for my GRE exam, BAD LUCK knocked and I met an incident cum accident cum fight cum ditches cum back stabbing on September 2^nd. I shifted my exam date to 1^st October but just spoiled it all. I was still not in favor of doing a job and wanted to study further but hardly any hopes left. I attended many parties for my friends being placed, boozing kinda became a habit. But unlike some idiots I never felt jealous for my friends being placed and me standing short unplaced. Placements are always a matter of proud for a institute and my friends made NIT Dgp proud. Almost all the branches are done with 85% placements. I am happy, not for me but for my friends and my college.

This semester nothing was going right. Neither acads, nor extra- curricular works nor internal and external affairs nor public and private relations. I was totally stuck in NOTHING this semester. Every time my basic rule flashed ifo my eyes “Whatever happens, happens for something good”….I was finding something good, one positive aspect in this negative arena…yeah I was finding but I did not know someone is keeping a watch on me- BAD LUCK: I got caught using mobile phone during my 7^th semester exams and I am given a supplementary in that paper with my mobile phone (actually my friend’s mobile) still hanging with the academic section. I am frustrated….nothing is smooth except Boozing and Weed :P

It seems everything I earned in past 3 years at NITD is running away from me- the zest, the life, the relations, the pride and that little name and fame.

But I thought- Guru itna sochne ki kya zarurat hai…Jo hona hai wo hoga isliye jo ho rha hai usko hone do, log jaa rhe hain unko jane do kyuki jane wale ko koi ni rok sakta, jo tumpe hans rha hai unhe hansne do kyuki ye unki sehat k liye achha hai, log dhoka de rhe hain dene do kyuki dhoka dena unka kaam hai aur samhlna tumhara kaam.

Lastly the words of my darling Supriya rang in my ears-“jo insan achha hota hai uske sath kabhi bura ni ho sakta”. I said to myself “beta shanky rone ki koi zarurat nahi hai, agar kuch achha ni ho rha hai to bura bhi nahi hoga, tum bas geet gungunate chalo aur apni raah banate chalo kyuki JEENA ISI KA NAAM HAI”!!!!